Michael's 50th birthday surprise.

MICHAEL JACKSON IS SITTING LOOKING SAD.

MICHAEL.

Shamone, I'm all alone I'm 50, well bits of me are. I'm a lonely king of pop, ee oooo, boo hoo.

MACAULEY CALKIN WALKS ON WITH A CAN.

MACAULEY

There, there Michael it's me Macauley Calkin I'm here, I even got you a can of Jesus Juice.

MICHAEL

It taste's kinda strong, what flavor is it?

MACAULEY

Red wine, raspberry and rohypnol. Let's get you to bed.

MICHAEL

Whose bed?

MACAULEY

Mine, I'm just going to play a game you played with me some years ago. Ain't payback a bitch.

It's clever and punchy. Can't fault it, though somehow the end didn't make me laugh out loud.
Think it might be the linking line:

MICHAEL

I'm feeling iller, iller tonight.

There should be an official scheme for releasing some faded and deluded pop stars back into reality at the end of their careers. Maybe a care home

MICHAEL

I'm feeling iller, iller tonight.

Yeah, that line doesn't work for me either. Maybe after Macaulay's line 'lets get you to bed' Michael smiles and says/sings 'Don't stop till you get enough.' Or even worse 'Who's bed?'

Thanks edited and improved with your suggestion.

Does me good to think a joke about a paedophile Jackson being raped by a disturbed Caulkin, when he's old and confused got such a warm reception.

I was thinking the same, to my shame. Now you've changed it it's much better.

Yes, better as a result of the edit.

Shouldn't Macaulay Culkin identify himself for the sake of the audience, e.g. There, there Michael, it's Macaulay, I'm here"

And I don't know if it is just me, but I have no idea what Jesus Juice is.

It's what Michael calls red wine, which he used to put into cans of coke before giving into teenage boys.

Who he later didn't sexually molest.

Hmm one patented introduction line coming up

Quote: sootyj @ September 6 2008, 12:53 PM BST

It's what Michael calls red wine, which he used to put into cans of coke before giving into teenage boys.

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I learn something knew every day. Leave it, it doesn't matter too much if you don't know, and makes the joke funnier if you do.

Who he later didn't sexually molest.

Why do people find it so hard to believe that a sexually mature man, who has shown no interest in women, should want to spend all his time with young boys simply because he enjoys their company? Some people just have sick minds. Obviously he is not entirely without a sex drive, but that is what the chimp was for.