Scripting a telephone conversation Page 2

Has your wife left you?

I don't think Bangkok gay bars have homewear sections.

Homo wear maybe.

You're a pair of silly geese!

Quote: Griff @ September 4 2008, 10:32 PM BST

Seefacts is a ladygoose. I'm all gander.

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Though technically we're BOTH birds.

Thanks for the suggestions. I think the style that Mikey J's used fits in best with the overall style that I have used so far

Like Seefacts said earlier, my way isn't gospel, but it is the way I write.

Oh, and here's how I write a phone convo where you can ONLY see the person talking, and where you can't see or hear the other person:

MAN:
(INTO PHONE)
Yes, I've got my trousers down ready.
(LISTENING TO CALLER)
What's that? You want me to pull it?
(LISTENING TO CALLER)
Ah, I see.

Of course ... will work just as well, i.e.:

MAN:
Yes, I've got my trousers down ready... What's that? You want me to pull it?

The format will vary depending on the style of your script, i.e. whether it is a sitcom, film screenplay, etc, with regards to line breaks, capital or lowercase parenthetical instructions, etc.

Personally I'd use (Pause) to indicate the sections where the person is listening.

I've been told many times that the use of an *ellipsis (...) indicates not a pause or beat (which is its common though incorrect use) but very specifically tailing off a conversation in a vague or intriguing manner such as:

"We're trapped. Unless..."
"Unless what?"

And it's always three dots never:

"We could dress up as.........."

But saying all that, it is as SeeFacts says personal choice and as long as you convey the meaning clearly through words and format, the script has done its job.

*I originally misspelt then edited it, thanks to Griff spotting the error.

>_<

Thanks for that, will edit. Slow morning here.

Quote: SlagA @ September 5 2008, 10:27 AM BST

Personally I'd use (Pause) to indicate the sections where the person is listening.

I've been told many times that the use of an *ellipsis (...) indicates not a pause or beat (which is its common though incorrect use) but very specifically tailing off a conversation in a vague or intriguing manner such as:

"We're trapped. Unless..."
"Unless what?"

And it's always three dots never:

"We could dress up as.........."

But saying all that, it is as SeeFacts says personal choice and as long as you convey the meaning clearly through words and format, the script has done its job.

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I just want to pick up on the point of using an ellipsis to indicate a pause. I use ellipsis quite a bit to stagger a characters dialogue such as:

Bloke
So you keep saing...anyway, as I was trying to explain my point.

I read somewhere that you should keep the times you use a PAUSE to a minimum. This might of been Marc Blakes book. I read somewhere else (might be Rib Davis's writing dialogue book) that it was ok to use an ellipsis to show a pause or break in a characters speech.

Now I'm confused!

Def.

Quote: SlagA @ September 5 2008, 10:27 AM BST

I've been told many times that the use of an *ellipsis (...) indicates not a pause or beat (which is its common though incorrect use) but very specifically tailing off a conversation in a vague or intriguing manner such as:

"We're trapped. Unless..."
"Unless what?"

.

View original

MARC P:
That's in a novel SLagA. Perfectly fine in a script to use it to indicate a... shall we say pause? I use it all the time.

Anything that keeps the writer from popping up and interupting the narrative flow the better I say.

Yep, I've got my head on backwards today.

Ignore my insane ramblings.

I generally use an ellipsis to indicate a sort of half pause, without an actual break:

SHOPKEEPER: Ummm… You do realise that this is a comedy sketch don't you Sir?

I use (BEAT) to indicate a very quick pause for comedy effect:

MAN: No, I suppose not. (BEAT) I didn't want to be in comedy sketches anyway. I wanted to be…a lumberjack!

And I use (PAUSE) when I need an actual longish pause, like newsreaders do when they're about to change subject or to imply a sort of reaction

Quote: Afinkawan @ September 5 2008, 12:57 PM BST

I generally use an ellipsis to indicate a sort of half pause, without an actual break:

SHOPKEEPER: Ummm… You do realise that this is a comedy sketch don't you Sir?

I use (BEAT) to indicate a very quick pause for comedy effect:

MAN: No, I suppose not. (BEAT) I didn't want to be in comedy sketches anyway. I wanted to be…a lumberjack!

And I use (PAUSE) when I need an actual longish pause, like newsreaders do when they're about to change subject or to imply a sort of reaction

View original

I do the same as you Afinkawan. I sometimes feel self conscious of using (BEAT) though. I feel that if I put (BEAT) then the reader will be expecting something amazingly funny that I either can't or haven't delivered. It's as though (BEAT) it is a calling card to say 'laugh here'. Obviously I am receiving therapy for this phobia.

Def.

Def.

Use Beat. Sparingly. NEVER use pause.

And just hire good comedy actors they know about timing.

OOER. I've used (pause) in a drama I'm working on.

Does it mean a death sentence for writers who use that word??