Cheers guys.
My conclusion is that I didn't get across what I was aiming to convey. The jokes are purely incidental, and they are *deliberately* poor. This wasn't meant to be a vehicle for poor jokes! 
The mood was supposed to be more like Barratt and Fielding's early zookeeper sketches; Seb is a self-conscious fool, and Carl is an arrogant fool. I just think the phrasing didn't fit that mood effectively. No matter. Thanks for the feedback.
Quote: Tommy Power @ September 3 2008, 3:18 PM BSTCheers guys.
My conclusion is that I didn't get across what I was aiming to convey. The jokes are purely incidental, and they are *deliberately* poor. This wasn't meant to be a vehicle for poor jokes!
The mood was supposed to be more like Barratt and Fielding's early zookeeper sketches; Seb is a self-conscious fool, and Carl is an arrogant fool. I just think the phrasing didn't fit that mood effectively. No matter. Thanks for the feedback.
Yes, but even in the Boosh there are elements of drama in those conversations. They want to form a band, pursue a woman, go on an adventure etc. There's banter, sure, but the scenes lead somewhere.
Also, a scene from a sitcom is a very different beast to a sketch. A sketch needs to be a self contained story within itself.
In case you were wondering Tommy.
Not the Boosh, they were earlier sketches from (Un)Natural Acts. But it's alright, I can definitely see that this one didn't work.
Thanks David. 
Quote: Marc P @ September 3 2008, 3:27 PM BSTIn case you were wondering Tommy.
I like this song, Marc. I missed that by 9 years, I'm afraid. Contextually unusual; what put you in mind of this track (apart from the sketch meaning nothing to you)?
Quote: Tommy Power @ September 3 2008, 3:31 PM BSTI like this song, Marc. I missed that by 9 years, I'm afraid. Contextually unusual; what put you in mind of this track (apart from the sketch meaning nothing to you)?
It was just the sort of pun you had in your sketch was all.
Didn't work for me either, I'm afraid.
Dan