Sir Saffron Waldon remembers.

VO
Sir Saffron Waldon, a life. Sir Saffron Waldon you are one of England's oldest and most respected actors. Could you tell us how you started your career in films.

SAFFRON
Well it was actually in the 1950s, on US TV of all places. There I was a young, fresh faced, clean skinned, young man, with a jaunty walk. A very lovely....

VO
Sir Waldon?

SAFFRON
Sorry, I had a bit part on Mr Edd, it was one of the strangest auditions I ever had.

VO
How so?

SAFFRON
It took place in a stable, and the only person was me and Mr Edd.

VO
The horse?

SAFFRON
Yes of course it was the horse, how many other people do you know called Mr Edd?
Anyway he said hello, and that there were 3 things you need to know for this audition.

VO
I'm sorry the horse spoke to you?

SAFFRON
Yes didn't you watch the show? Anyway the horse says "there are 3 things you should know about me, I do the hiring around here, 2 I'm into zoophilia, and 3 I'm a homosexual," I was shocked.

VO
That a horse was in charge of recruitment?

SAFFRON
No that he admitted to be a homosexual, it was illegal in the 50s.

VO
Oh erm I see. So he was into zoophilia, and gay did you...

SAFFRON
Yes, and he was a very gentle lover for a horse. We spent 5 wonderful years together, till Champion the Wonder Horse, got him hooked on heroin.

VO
Thank you Sir Waldon, next week....

SAFFRON
Oh God they made him into glue, I still have a pot at home I sniff it at nights. The bastards, they didn't bloody turn Larry Olivier into a rug, why because he was a horse.

I really enjoyed this. The only things I didn't understand were:

1. Why did the interviewer interrupt Saffron during his first line of dialogue?

2. Would a horse refer to zoophilia? Wouln't it be better to say he likes humans?
3. The last line goes a bit screwy. You make it sound like Olivier was a horse. Better to end simply with "they didn't turn Larry Olivier into a rug!" I think.

Other than those quibbles, magic!

Top feedback, thanks even if you have a very distrubing picture.

1 Sir Waldon is wandering off into a sexual fantasy about himself.

2 Homophilia better, you're right I think viewers will make the leap.

3 Right again, they didn't make Olivier into a rug is a great place to stop.

This is one of those skits I really like may send it to rough cuts.

I think the skit hangs on 2 lines, "Yes he spoke, didn't you watch the show," and "he was a very gentle lover for a horse,"

Minor point, but I'd add in a slight pause, as if he's remembering a painful incident.

So.

Yes, he was a very gentle lover... (PAUSE, RECALLING MEMORY) for a horse.

That little bit of timing makes the joke stronger IMO.

I agree, it works better I suppose I thought the comma was enough, will add dots in the future.

Did you like it overall?

It's well enough written, but a bit... easy...

It's such well travelled road, from Peter Jones/J Kingston Platt via Nigel Planer/Nicholas Craig and ending, unfortunately, at Matt Lucas/Sir Bernard Chumley with a mirade other stops in between.

Unless you can come up with a totally new angle I'd move on to something else.

sorry to be the negative voice, but I feel you can do so much better.

kjs

Fair play, I suppose I'm not always a lover of originality. I liked the pacing, and some of the lines. It's a bit reminesent of Sir Henry at Rawlings end.

Sometimes I have comedic visions. In this case it was good old Mr Edd as a priapic TV mogul, abusing his minions, and shooting up heroin.

Maybe that would better as a direct skit?

Bend over Wilbur!

Quote: sootyj @ April 2 2008, 3:17 PM BST

Maybe that would better as a direct skit?

Bend over Wilbur!

View original

I genuinely think you have something there. Plus you can get horse head masks at a very reasonable price and they're always funny.

Okay, it seems we appear to be going through a similar sort of phase as that occured on writersdock.

The phase being that mediocre (at best) stuff is being given high praise when it IS NOT funny.

Obviously this may just be my opinion, in which case I shall leave.

The problem is that there's not really any funny dialogue. Almost all of the dialogue is being used to create a bizarre situation in the viewers minds.

The interviewer needs to setup more jokes otherwise it's not going to be funny.

It's something I used to suffer from a lot and still do occasionally!

Quote: garyd @ April 2 2008, 4:10 PM BST

Okay, it seems we appear to be going through a similar sort of phase as that occured on writersdock.

The phase being that mediocre (at best) stuff is being given high praise when it IS NOT funny.

Obviously this may just be my opinion, in which case I shall leave.

View original

I'm certainly not going to tell anyone their shit tastes like ice cream. If I like something I'll say so. Same goes if I don't. I'm betting others will say the same. Let's just accept there's such a thing as opinion, shall we?

Quote: garyd @ April 2 2008, 4:10 PM BST

Okay, it seems we appear to be going through a similar sort of phase as that occured on writersdock.

The phase being that mediocre (at best) stuff is being given high praise when it IS NOT funny.

Obviously this may just be my opinion, in which case I shall leave.

View original

Garyd if you think it's mediocre please just say so. The BSG hit squad will not drag you screaming from you computer.

Out of 10 posts, only 1 praised the skit. Leaving me to think there's some good ideas in there (e.g. Mr Edd as a perverted drug addicted, TV mogul), which I may well fillet out and use later. Otherwise I certainly won't send it any where in it's current form with this feedback.

If you check through my multiple posts in critique, theres a good smattering of positive, negatives, and completely ignored.

I think some of the time people don't get how subjective humour is. I've certainly praised skits that didn't make me laugh, as I appreciate how well structured, and written they were.

Here it is Mr Edd rides again.

You know what, sootyj, this is a brilliant sketch.

Not only does it breath life into the format, it is relevant and socially conscious.

Thanks, but relevant?

Dear God don't tell me the filthy horse actually did that.