British Comedy Guide

3 more on Palin.

1

PALIN IS BEING INTERVIEWED.

INTERVIEWER

Mrs Palin do you not see a contradiction between your belief in a right to life and the right to own guns?

PALIN

Not at all, how else is the Fetus to protect it's self from abortionists?
Bristol get over here.

BRISTOL SKULKS ON

PALIN SHOVES A GUN UP HER SKIRT.

PALIN

Vote Republican for a gun in every clunge.

2

PALIN AND A SOLDIER ON STAGE.

PALIN

People question my ability to defend America, well I commanded the Alaskan National Guard for 5 years. Tell them soldier.

SOLIDER

I'm the Alaskan National Guard and she bossed me good.

PALIN

You mean you're the commander of the national guard?

SOLDIER

Nope I'm the national guard.

BUSH STOMPS ON

BUSH

I just had Putin on the phone, he's occupied Alaska which dingus left it unguarded.

3

PALIN IS TALKING TO AN ADVISER.

ADVISER

Oddly enough you're popular with British sailors?

PALIN

Cos I'm sexy woman, who can handle a gun and fly a boat?

ADVISER

No because you can keep Britol's channel full of semen.

I like No.2

And... well, I shouldn't, but I like No.3 aswell.

Actually, I also like No.1 but I like No.2 the best.

Am I making sense anymore????

Good enough, 3s a groaner but what the hell.

Yup, 3's a groaner but funny, 2 very nice, 1 likeable.

In fact, what Mikey said

1 - Outrageous, 'pornojoke' - "Vote Republican for a gun in every clunge" - hilarious!!

2 - Funny - but needs to differentiate clearly between THE National Guard and A National Guard. e.g.
_________________________________________________________

PALIN

You mean you're the commander of the national guard?

SOLDIER

Nope, I AM the National Guard.

PALIN
The Alaskan National Guard?

SOLDIER
Well no, I'm originally from New York ---

BUSH STOMPS ON (etc)
___________________________________________________________

3 - 'Bristol's channel full of semen' Is a brilliant pun/pun-chline but I think it would work better in a different premise - not a mother keeping her daughter's channel full of semen!

The 3rd one is the dirty minx is up the duff and aparently not for the first time.

I suppose that could be clearer.

Thanx.

Quote: sootyj @ September 2 2008, 7:31 PM BST

The 3rd one is the dirty minx is up the duff and aparently not for the first time.
I suppose that could be clearer.
Thanx.

Yes, I know that. :)

I should have made MYSELF clearer - i.e., Palin encouraging/ignoring the fact that her daughter's 'channel' is kept full of semen, doen't work for me!

It's one of those gags I suppose people laugh at and then go,

why'd I laugh at that it makes no sense.

Atleast I hope so. I can't imagine Sarah chasing her daughter round

the house with a turkey baster full of semen.

At least I shouldn't...

INT PALIN KITCHEN DAY

SARAH PALIN IS CHASING HER DAUGHTER AROUND
THE HOUSE WITH A TURKEY BASTER FULL OF SEMEN....

(over to you!) ;)

Quote: sootyj @ September 2 2008, 7:48 PM BST

I can't imagine Sarah chasing her daughter round

the house with a turkey baster full of semen.

At least I shouldn't...

Quite.

Sounds like a surreal Martha Stewart show though. Xmas special.

Incidentally, do you think the baby will take after Bristol? Or will she/he inherit Levi's genes?!

Wonder how many times that one's been done?

VPILF.

Quote: Graham Bandage @ September 2 2008, 11:05 PM BST

VPILF.

ULF anything with a pulse. :P

Quote: Rob0 @ September 2 2008, 8:05 PM BST

Quite.

Sounds like a surreal Martha Stewart show though. Xmas special.

Incidentally, do you think the baby will take after Bristol? Or will she/he inherit Levi's genes?!

Wonder how many times that one's been done?

eh?

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