Cosmetic Con

This is a bit of a girly one. And sort of my first. Don't be kind.

INT. CHURCH BACKROOM. DAY.

A BRIDE IS SITTING ON A CHAIR CRYING HYSTERICALLY. HER BRIDESMAID ENTERS THE ROOM LOOKING FOR HER.

BRIDESMAID

Ah, there you are. Oh, Sweetie. Why are you crying?

BRIDE (looking up, her mascara's running down her face)

I've just found out that that new mascara I bought doesn't double the length of your lashes at all. The advertisement was lying!

BRIDESMAID (soothingly)

But that's no reason to cry your heart out on your wedding day! Look, I've brought some emergency fake lashes. That should do.

BRIDE (even more hysterically)

But you don't understand! I've bought two euro-pallets of that stuff in green to get the lawn ready for the party tonight!

I think you have a lot of ground to make up Finck.

It's a start.

Thanks, guys.

I think I won't trespass here too often, so no worries.

Quote: Marc P @ September 1 2008, 4:30 PM BST

I think you have a lot of ground to make up Finck.

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It was a joke!

Quote: Marc P @ September 1 2008, 4:36 PM BST

It was a joke!

View original

I can't deal with jokes in my first own critique thread. I can hardly hold my fingers still.

T'was a good one, though. Now that I got it. Cheers.

I like it, Finck. Clever.

And sorry for asking, but just to make it explicit, are you a girl, frau, etc.? Your DP throws me off.

Thanks, Tommy.

Yes, I am. A girl. And German. And Finck is not my real name.

Quote: Finck @ September 1 2008, 4:43 PM BST

Thanks, Tommy.

Yes, I am. A girl. And German. And Finck is not my real name.

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I can accept the first two statements, but not the third.

Quote: Tommy Power @ September 1 2008, 4:44 PM BST

I can accept the first two statements, but not the third.

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Fair enough.

Hereby I declare Finck to be my real real name. Just so that Tommy can cope.

Bon.

Edit: all-emoticon messages often preclude the continuation of conversation... that's an ill-effect of modernisation. Bloody industrial revolution.

Quote: Finck @ September 1 2008, 4:38 PM BST

I can't deal with jokes in my first own critique thread. I can hardly hold my fingers still.

T'was a good one, though. Now that I got it. Cheers.

View original

Just perservere, everyone gets a lashing in their first critique post.

I liked it but it could be slghtly clearer.

Otherwise a clever play on concepts.

Is there anything specific that's shit in the sketch, or is it a general thing? I'd like to improve.

Thanks, Sooty.

Do you mean I should make clearer what she had planned to do with the green mascara?

Quote: Marc P @ September 1 2008, 4:30 PM BST

I think you have a lot of ground to make up Finck.

View original

They say puns are the lowest form of humour but that, Marc, is just inspired.

The sketch, I thought, was laboured but who am I to know what gets laughs in Germany.

Well done on busting your cherry, Finck.