...grab my internet connection, hug it tightly, stroke its head, cry many tears of joy and relief, and tell it never ever ever to go away again.
Hello everyone 
Missed you all <3 
But the posts...! Blimey, I think I'll just scrap it and start again. There's at least a novel's worth to get through. So if anyone slagged me off in my absence then it looks like you'll get away with it this time *shakes fist*.
Now, first things first, who wants some SEX?
IAN!!!!!!!!<3<3<3<3<3<3<3
Hellllo 
Ian!!!!!!!!!!
You should check out the "where is ian_w thead" if you read any!!
So if anyone slagged me off in my absence then it looks like you'll get away with it this time *shakes fist*.
He did. *Points in no specific direction*
Iiiiiaaaaaannnnnnnn (_w)!!!
*runs in slow motion towards ian*
*faints*
https://www.comedy.co.uk/forums/thread/8563 There we go!
Hellooooo!
You only do this for the attention, don't you?? 
Despite what I said I'm still making an effort to read everything 
Can...not...resist...
Hope you are all good and fine and dandy btw *big hugs*
Quote: RubyMae - Glamourous Snowdrop at large. @ August 27 2008, 3:29 PM BSTIAN!!!!!!!!<3<3<3<3<3<3<3
<3 right back at ya Ruby Roo, x 1 million trillion gazillion!
Quote: Kim Griffin @ August 27 2008, 3:30 PM BSTHellllo
Hiya Kim
Quote: EllieJP @ August 27 2008, 3:34 PM BSTIan!!!!!!!!!!
You should check out the "where is ian_w thead" if you read any!!
Ohhh yes! THAT thread 
The one with all the spent party poppers and bear bottles everywhere?
You do love it... look at all the women fawning over you!
Quote: dannyjb1 @ August 27 2008, 3:36 PM BSTHe did. *Points in no specific direction*
Right, bastard 
*runs off with clenched fist in no specific direction*
Quote: Finck @ August 27 2008, 3:36 PM BSTIiiiiaaaaaannnnnnnn (_w)!!!
*runs in slow motion towards ian*
*faints*
Fiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnccckkkk! *runs and catches her before she hits the ground* *Applies mouth to mouth generously*
Quote: EllieJP @ August 27 2008, 3:36 PM BSThttps://www.comedy.co.uk/forums/thread/8563 There we go!
Ah thank you Ellie welly
Quote: JuliaC @ August 27 2008, 3:36 PM BSTHellooooo!
You only do this for the attention, don't you??
Hello sexy Julia (shhh, yes you are!)
Attention? Pah! Depriving myself of internet for attention? I'd need psychological help. Erm, wait a minute...
Quote: EllieJP @ August 27 2008, 3:43 PM BSTYou do love it... look at all the women fawning over you!
Weeell, can't say as I noticed really 
*whistles*
Quote: ian_w @ August 27 2008, 3:28 PM BST...So if anyone slagged me off in my absence then it looks like you'll get away with it this time *shakes fist*.
Is 'anyone' my new nickname?
How are you going to read through all those posts and offer sex at the same time? Can't be done.
Quote: Simon Stratton @ August 27 2008, 3:50 PM BSTIs 'anyone' my new nickname?
How are you going to read through all those posts and offer sex at the same time? Can't be done.
Hmmm, that's a pretty good and well raised point 
Maybe if I just read the sexy ones first it'll make me perform better?
Anyhoo Simon, how are things with your ladyfriend? Any developments there matey?
How long has it been?
Welcome back!!
I didn't notice your absence but that could have been because I was also gone for some time. I had fallen in a well but thought "at least someone on the BSG will notice I'm gone". Alas no one did and I only escaped when I found that it really wasn't a well I had fallen in but the bottom of an elevator shaft. I took the elevator to the 1st floor and went home. I learned a valuable lesson that day; never inhale and forget to exhale.