Here is an extract from a new sitcom we are working on, we have written about 26/27 pages so its only an extract, I just want to see what people think, be warned it is rather crude- So here it is - Thanks:
MIKE
Did you bring the DVD?
ADAM
Oh yeah…it’s in my car, I’ll go and get it.
ADAM puts his bag down next to MIKE’S. He then leaves and quickly returns with a DVD. He puts it on the counter next to MIKE’S bag and then takes out a sandwich and starts to eat it. MIKE walks over to the counter and picks up the DVD.
MIKE
(reading the title aloud)
Bum Fun volume two. Where’s the other one?
ADAM
(Chewing on his sandwich)
Sorry mate, my brother’s lent it to his friend. That one is just as good though.
In one part, I won’t spoil it for you but this Dutch guy fits his whole hand inside
this woman.
ADAM gestures the actions with his hands whilst still holding the sandwich.
MIKE
That’s a bit wrong.
ADAM
(Still chewing)
Yeah, I’ve put myself off this now.
ADAM looks at the sandwich with grimace and swallows what he has left in his mouth.
MIKE
Why, what’s in it?
ADAM
Tuna.
EXT – AQUATIC SHOP CAR PARK - MORNING
A craggy and battered old car drives into the complex and towards an empty parking space. The engine cuts out before it has reached it and rolls to a controlled stop in the space. The car door opens and an older man (BERNIE) gets out wearing the aquatic shop uniform and holding a backpack. It is obvious he is another employee. He closes the car door, locks it and walks into the shop.
INT – AQUATIC SHOP COUNTER - MORNING
BERNIE walks behind the counter and puts his backpack down on the floor, out of the way.
MIKE
Alrite Bern?
BERNIE
Alright mate.
MIKE looks at the DVD again. BERNIE stands up from putting down his backback.
BERNIE
What’s that one?
BERNIE walks over to MIKE and turns the DVD in MIKE’S hand so he can read it. ADAM laughs.
BERNIE
(reading aloud)
Bum Fun volume two. I think I have this. Is that the Dutch one with the man who fits
his whole hand in that woman?
He gestures with his hands like ADAM did previously.
ADAM
Yeah. That’s the one.
BERNIE
I haven’t watched it all the way through for a while, the missus doesn’t like it. She
say’s it gets me in a dirty frame of mind.
He laughs.
ADAM
Where did you get it from?
BERNIE
I taped it off the telly actually. It was on another channel after I watched a Mel Gibson film.
MIKE looks up, interested.
MIKE
Oh yeah which one?
BERNIE
One of those digital channels.
MIKE
No, which film?
BERNIE
Oh…erm…The one with the face paint. Can’t remember what it was called. He gets killed in the end.
MIKE puts the DVD down onto the counter.
MIKE
Braveheart.
BERNIE
Whatever the one is called where he wears face paint.
MIKE
It was Braveheart.
BERNIE
Probably.
MIKE
Well, did you like it?
BERNIE
It was not bad. Not as good as the one with the ransom plot though.
MIKE
You mean Ransom.
BERNIE
That’s what I said.
MIKE
No the film was called Ransom.
BERNIE
Was it? I thought it was that……that Fatal Weapon one.
MIKE
No that is Lethal Weapon. It’s a completely different film.
BERNIE
Oh right. I haven’t seen all his films.
ADAM
Have you seen Mad Max?
BERNIE
Oh… what the one where he can hear women in his head.
ADAM laughs. Mike gets annoyed by BERNIE’S lack of film knowledge.
MIKE
What? No! That’s What Women Want. Mad Max is the one with the biker gang in Australia.
BERNIE
I thought Mad Max was the one where he can hear women’s thoughts in his head, hence the name ‘Mad’ Max.
MIKE
No that is What Women Want.
BERNIE
Really? Why then is Mad Max called Mad Max.
ADAM
Because that was the character’s name.
MIKE corrects ADAM.
MIKE
His nickname.
ADAM
(sarcastically)
Have you seen any of his films?
BERNIE
No. Only Dragonheart.
MIKE
Braveheart.
BERNIE
Yeah and the other one.
MIKE
Ransom.