British Comedy Guide

Couple of short skits: whatchee think?

INT. LIBRARY. DAY.

WOMAN approaches LIBRARIAN.

WOMAN:May I borrow this book, please?

LIBRARIAN: It's a free country, isn't it?

WOMAN: Erm; it's really a totalitarian dictatorship.

LIBRARIAN: Oh yeah. Well in that case, no, you can't (snatches book).

FIN.

***

INT. KITCHEN. DAY.

MOTHER is washing up. BOY enters kitchen and approaches her.

BOY: Mumsy? Can I go outside?

MOTHER:Why not, it's a lovely day, isn't it?

BOY: No, Daddy says it's Armageddon.

The BOY looks through a window. Outside, red stormclouds and volcanic ash billow threateningly; uprooted trees fly through the air. An inflated sex doll comes hurtling through the atmosphere and thuds into the window.

MOTHER: Oh, that's right. Well in that case, no, you can't (pauses, before slapping BOY).

FIN.

Number two made me laugh against all odds. I think you should add a quick look out the window to show that it is indeed Armageddon. Flames. Maybe a horseman. That sort of thing.

Cheers David... to be honest, these seemed funny for 5 minutes this morning, but having posted them and gone to uni, the truth hit me. They're really drivel... have made the adjustment you suggested. Pleased

Hey, I like it! A couple of minor adjustments though...

INT. KITCHEN - DAY

MOTHER is washing up. BOY tugs on her apron.

BOY:
Mumsy? Can I go outside?

MOTHER:
Why not, it's a lovely day, isn't it?

BOY:
No, Daddy says it's Armageddon.

The Boy looks through a window. Outside, red storm clouds and volcanic ash billow threateningly; uprooted trees fly through the air. An inflated sex doll comes hurtling through the atmosphere and thuds into the window.

MOTHER:
Oh, that's right. Well in that case, no, you can't (PAUSES BEFORE SLAPPING BOY).

THE END

Cheers!!! I'm new 'round here... nobody's posting on my threads yet. Nice of you to do so, Dave.

The inflated sex doll is a lovely touch.

I have to say I enjoyed sketch 1 more. Probably easier to film too.

Does this one work as a shortie?

* * *

EXT. STREET. DAY.

A wide-angle shot of a busy street outside a town hall. Camera steadily zooms in on a poster tacked to the wall:

"MEETING TODAY: DYSLICSEX AMONYNOUMUS"

FIN.

Personally, I find dyslexia gags a bit old hat.

Sorry Dave

Quote: Tommy Power @ August 21 2008, 4:39 PM BST

Sorry Dave

Don't get me wrong, I'm not insulted - you've nothing to be ashamed of - I'm just saying they're a bit last millenium.

Quote: Tommy Power @ August 21 2008, 4:30 PM BST

Does this one work as a shortie?

* * *

EXT. STREET. DAY.

A wide-angle shot of a busy street outside a town hall. Camera steadily zooms in on a poster tacked to the wall:

"MEETING TODAY: DYSLICSEX AMONYNOUMUS"

FIN.

Didn't some one tell Jesus that one on the Cross?

Quote: David Bussell @ August 21 2008, 4:51 PM BST

Don't get me wrong, I'm not insulted - you've nothing to be ashamed of - I'm just saying they're a bit last millenium.

Hahaha yep, I getcha. Remember UK comedy has about a decade on ours.

(I think that's quite a good excuse).

Quote: Graham Bandage @ August 21 2008, 11:55 AM BST

The inflated sex doll is a lovely touch.

The more expensive ones are, Graham - so they tell me.

Loved both sketches - nice re-write, David.

Funny thing, I can identify with the librarian dealing with that f**kin' smart ass git. That's exactly what I would do!

Quote: sootyj @ August 21 2008, 4:53 PM BST

Didn't some one tell Jesus that one on the Cross?

Alright, alright. Didn't know it had such a history over there. :P

Quote: sootyj @ August 21 2008, 4:53 PM BST

Didn't some one tell Jesus that one on the Cross?

Yes but he only laughed on the third day.

Share this page