I'm so sorry. I possibly have something worse.
The most offensive skit in the world. Page 2
Go on then!
VETS HAS A SIGN SAYING PUPPIES PUT DOWN BUY ONE GET ONE FREE.
MAN WALKS OUT HE HAS A DEAD PUPPY AND A DEAD CHILD IN HIS ARMS.
WOMAN SLAPS HIM ROUND THE HEAD.
WOMAN
You and your f**king vlaue for money.
Not bad but could she not blow herself up on a bendy bus, being driven by a drunk Ken Livingstone. Who then runs over David Cameron on his stupid bike, who crashes into a pot in which Boris Johnson is being boiled by Lee Jasper who is dressed as a Zulu warrior. At which point a cockney Osama Bin Laden, comes on dressed as a Pearly King, singing
"Maybe it's because I'm a Muslim that I am such a ****"
Before snogging the queen who is dressed in full on S&M gear, and is forcing a Corgi up Paul Burrell's fundament, whilst he eats Diana's corpse.
All this is being watched by Benazir Bhutto and JFK who are poking each other in their bullet holes, with Vera Drake's knitting needles.
Then the two girls from the 2 Girls 1 Cup video hand out chocolate cones, whilst Ronlad McDOnald sprinkles the tears of freshly slaughtered veal calves on them.
Whilst this goes on 2,000 Somali war orphans watch Dawn French eat the entire UN Food aid budget for Africa, for 10 years. Whilst the ghost of Jeremy Beadle gives them syphilis with his withered hand.
At the same the cast of Schindler's list dance to Aushswitz to the tune of, There no business like Shoah business.
Then somebody says "Maddy",
and that's going to far.
Then some one else says
"It's the Aristocrats"
and we realise it was a crappy film all along
Posted that in another thread, quite proud of it really.
Quote: Rob0 @ August 20 2008, 9:33 PM BSTI'm so sorry. I possibly have something worse.
Would love to see it 
Did you make up the Shoah business? Surely that's been written. It's the sort of niche thing that quickly gets round by email
How about this:
I'm sure it's the lowest of lows.
Here goes:
The McCanns try for another baby.
When born, it's a stillborn.
She says: "Not to worry. That cuts out the middle man."
No being Jewish I'm happy to dick around with this stuff on line, but I wouldn't want to make any money from it.
Quote: Mikey J @ August 20 2008, 9:46 PM BSTHow about this:
I'm sure it's the lowest of lows.
Here goes:
The McCanns try for another baby.
When born, it's a stillborn.
She says: "Not to worry. That cuts out the middle man."
Nasty, could work as a fully worked out skit.
OK, here's one that's bad enough:
GARY GLITTER IS IN A PET SHOP.
OWNER (POINTING AT A CAGE):
How about a nice Pekinese?
GARY:
No, I've already been to the Far east. Got somewhat delayed in Vietnam. Anyway, I was looking for something with more...pedigree.
OWNER:
I see - you want one that's horrendously inbred - well, you're in luck. A couple of months ago we got a new delivery. A new breed, in fact. Only 16 - in dog years of course. Austrian.
POINTS TO ANOTHER CAGE
GARY: (READING THE LABEL)
A Frizl, eh? I'll take it
Nasty, could work as a fully worked out skit.
Not sure if I'd want to write it though 
Quote: Rob0 @ August 20 2008, 9:51 PM BSTOK, here's one that's bad enough:
GARY GLITTER IS IN A PET SHOP.
OWNER (POINTING AT A CAGE):
How about a nice Pekinese?GARY:
No, I've already been to the Far east. Got somewhat delayed in Vietnam. Anyway, I was looking for something with more...pedigree.OWNER:
I see - you want one that's horrendously inbred - well, you're in luck. A couple of months ago we got a new delivery. A new breed, in fact. Only 16 - in dog years of course. Austrian.POINTS TO ANOTHER CAGE
GARY: (READING THE LABEL)
A Frizl, eh? I'll take it
You win the prize I think, how does it feel?
A Frizl, eh? I'll take it
ooh, very nasty.
I can hear the sound of writer's brains all over the country, attempting to write the worst lowest of lows sketch now.
Mikeys McCann one gets my vote so far (as sickest). Sootys Hitler one's the funniest, again so far.
this is one I'm glad for you to win
Should this horris thread be expunged?
It'll disappear faster than the Wests lodgers.
Quote: sootyj @ August 20 2008, 9:57 PM BSTShould this horris thread be expunged?
Please
The worst of it is, nothing is as terrible as the actuality of some of the things mentioned.
Quote: sootyj @ August 20 2008, 9:48 PM BSTNo being Jewish I'm happy to dick around with this stuff on line, but I wouldn't want to make any money from it.
I made the wrong connection somehow there - mistranslated shoah as ghetto and made it a Les Mis thing. Was thinking more along the lines of the flash animations I always get at every festival. I meant you could do the Chanukah/Rosh Hashanah ones of dancing apples and Latkas.