British Comedy Guide

Pedigree Sketch

INT. FRONT ROOM –DAY

MUM and DAD are sitting down. LITTLE JIMMY is unwrapping his present.

JIMMY:
Oh, Daddy! Thank you!

DAD:
(BEAMING) You're welcome son, we know how much you wanted a dog. (PROUDLY) It's not just any old mongrel, it's a pedigree breed.

MUM:
Now remember, Jimmy, a dog's for life, not just for Christmas.

DAD:
Well, darling, I'm afraid this dog is. You see, this breed has a genetic disorder which gives it a tendency to explode before it reaches maturity.

JIMMY, CRYING RUNS OUT

DAD:
What? I thought little boys loved explosions

Good stuff clever and funny.

But I'd change explosion to congetial heart defect, unless your actually going to make it explode.

But I liked it.

Bloody good idea a dog is for Xmas cos that's how long it will live.

I am jealous.

Quote: sootyj @ August 20 2008, 12:38 PM BST

Good stuff clever and funny.

But I'd change explosion to congenial heart defect, unless you're actually going to make it explode.

But I liked it.

Bloody good idea a dog is for Xmas cos that's how long it will live.

I am jealous.

Helped mum with the shopping, she was telling me about the program she saw last night, I almost exploded myself having to wait to get it penned.

I see what you're saying, though I suppose I can't use "What? I thought boys loved congenital heart defects" :P

Would I really have to make it explode? Can it not just be what's inferred which upsets Jimmy? Though I can imagine Red Dwarf-style effects

I think the bit when he realises it's going to die is a great place to end.

Quote: sootyj @ August 20 2008, 12:45 PM BST

I think the bit when he realises it's going to die is a great place to end.

OK, cheers

I'd make the dog explode.

Yeah, kill the dog.

Quote: Timbo @ August 20 2008, 1:47 PM BST

I'd make the dog explode.

Yeah, you can't talk about an exploding dog and not blow one up. What kind of November 5th would that be?

Wait... what?

It works. An effective ending, for me, would be:

JIMMY, CRYING RUNS OUT. THE DOG SCURRIES AFTER HIM

DAD:
What? I thought little boys loved explosions

AN EXPLOSION IS HEARD OUTSIDE. SUDDENLY DOG BITS AND JIMMY'S DETACHED HEAD, COMPLETE WITH SMILE, SPLATTERS AGAINST THE WINDOW.

DAD:
See.

END

Just a thought.

I like it. And I like Nick's alternative ending too. Just so long as you deliver on the promise of an exploding dog somehow.

Yeah that ending was good too.

So any other groups I need to upset after the RSPCA and NSPCC and Crufts?

I need to learn animation. Incidentally, apart from my own amusement, is there anything that can be done with sketches that require a little more than two men and a dog?

Ok, so this DOES require 2 men and a dog but you get the idea...

to achieve an explosion and decapitated head, I'd recommend learning after effects.

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