Just curious what everyone's favourite jokes are? Or sketches? In fact why not throw in comedians as well!
I have one joke that I chuckle at every time... I'm so simple:
"A man walked into the bar... Ouch!" 
I don't really know why it does!
Anyway what's yours?
One amusing one liner, from Bob Monkhouse:
"My friends laughed when I told them I wanted to be a comedian. They're not laughing now..."
Teacher: "What's the difference between ignorance and apathy?"
Pupil: "I don't know and I don't care"
Another one from Bob:
"I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my father. Not screaming and terrified like his passengers."
Quote: RubyMae - Glamourous Snowdrop at large. @ August 19 2008, 7:09 PM BST
Love that one. The hoovering always tickles me.
I did love Bob monkhouse... R.I.P
There are lots of music ones but I was reminded of this one on the radio.
A conductor was taken ill during an orchestral performance and to save the concert having to be abandoned a viola player rushed up and took over the baton. The concert went very well and after taking his bow the viola player returned to his seat in the orchestra. His fellow viola player turned to him and said with feeling. 'Where the f**k have you been?'
A classic Frank Skinner line:
"People say, 'Now you've given up booze at least you can remember what you did last night'.
I say, 'Yeah, nothing'".
My Bob favourite:
"Everyone seems to know where I come from. As I walk past them, they mutter 'Kent'"
Bob was great. I wonder if they'll ever publish his book of jokes.
Quote: Nil Putters @ August 19 2008, 7:19 PM BSTBob was great. I wonder if they'll ever publish his book of jokes.
They should do... just a book full of witty remarks and one liners! I would buy it!
Frank Skinner to Terry Christian (who was a being a tit on Fantasy Football, banging on about a Bobby Charlton testimonial programme he'd brought with him):
"So that'll be the best program you've ever been involved with.".
Probably my favourite one liner.
Inlcuding 'Fantasy Football'.
programme*