British Comedy Guide

Don't Mention The War!

Hiya folks,
I haven't posted much on here lately, so thought I'd post one of my sketches that NewsRevue are perfoming this weekend.
It's a differemnt take on Fawlty Towers but using Georgian people instead of Germans.

DON'T MENTION THE WAR (RUSSIA/GEORGIA) by MIKEY J

INT. HOTEL RESTAURANT.DAY.

MAN AND WOMAN SITTING AT A RESTAURANT TABLE. THE HOTEL OWNER, ACTING AND SOUNDING UNCANNILY LIKE BASIL FAWLTY, WALKS OVER TO THEM.

HOTEL OWNER:
Hello, you two. I'm the owner of this hotel. I hope you're enjoying your stay here.

WOMAN:
(IN RUSSIAN TYPE ACCENT) Yes, we are having a… how you say? … good time.

HOTEL OWNER:
Oh, you're foreign. Are you Russian?

MAN:
Certainly not. We are from Georgia.

HOTEL OWNER:
Oh, I see. It's okay. Don't worry. I won't mention the war. (TO HIMSELF) Remember. Don't mention the war. (TO MAN) What would you like to eat, Sir?

MAN:
Well, I'd like a cake and a bruschetta.

HOTEL OWNER:
What was that? You want to take over South Ossetia?

MAN:
No. That's not what I said.

HOTEL OWNER:
Sorry, sorry. I mentioned the war. Sorry. I must remember. Don't mention the war. Anyway… anything to drink?

WOMAN:
Yes, please. I'd like a black Russian.

HOTEL OWNER:
What was that? You back Russia?

WOMAN:
No, that's not what I said.

MAN:
You're upsetting my wife! Stop mentioning the war.

HOTEL OWNER:
You started it.

MAN:
No, I didn't

HOTEL OWNER:
Yes you did. You invaded…

MAN:
(INTERRUPTING) Stop! That's it! As well as insulting us and our county, you were just about to rip off a Fawlty Towers punchline. Shame on you. And just for mentioning the war several times, I'm going to report you to Mikheil Saakashvili.

HOTEL OWNER:
You want to suck my willy????? Get out, you perv!

END

Oooh, excellent idea!
I'm not surprised they're using it.

Very good Laughing out loud

Thanks. :)

When I started writing it, I didn't have a punchline.
I ALMOST ended the sketch on "Yes you did, you invaded South Ossetia", but that would have been the worst rip off crime against humanity (and comedy) ever.

Yes, you definitely needed to reference the original within the sketch. And skilfully done it was too. Plus the final gag was good. Can very much imagine Fawlty shooing them out of the hotel.

Now of course every new conflict will demand a re-ripoff of this rip-off Pirate

Quote: Rob0 @ August 15 2008, 12:48 AM BST

Yes, you definitely needed to reference the original within the sketch. And skilfully done it was too. Plus the final gag was good. Can very much imagine Fawlty shooing them out of the hotel.

Now of course every new conflict will demand a re-ripoff of this rip-off Pirate

Yeah, Fawlty would definitely get shot of them. :P

Thanks for the kind words. :)

Very clever and funny. Nice tribute. :)

Thanks.
And there was me thinking it was just kinda... well... average really.

Quote: Mikey J @ August 15 2008, 1:39 PM BST

Thanks.
And there was me thinking it was just kinda... well... average really.

Similarly borrowing a quote, it's all average, just some more so than others.

But it's recognisable and with a funny twist that should hopefully avoid that day in court.

Quote: Rob0 @ August 15 2008, 1:50 PM BST

Similarly borrowing a quote, it's all average, just some more so than others.

But it's recognisable and with a funny twist that should hopefully avoid that day in court.

Another 'tribute':

https://www.comedy.co.uk/forums/thread/7889

lol :D

Quote: Rob0 @ August 15 2008, 1:50 PM BST

But it's recognisable and with a funny twist that should hopefully avoid that day in court.

I can see myself saying in court: "But Mr Cleese... it was all done in the best pooooooossible taste."

Then Kenny Everett returns from the grave, pushes open the court's double doors and say: "Oi! Now you're nicking MY line!"

:P

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