Two sketches. Not sure which one is strongest, or whether they're both crap.
SKETCH 1
DIRECTOR GREG DORAN AND FEMALE COLLEAGUE ARE DISCUSSING THEIR NEW RSC PRODUCTION
COLLEAGUE
So, Hamlet in Stratford, then. Well done you.
DIRECTOR
Yes, of course the cynics are all saying I took on David Tennant and Patrick Stewart to pull in the geek crowd, but that couldn't be further from the truth. I'm not remotely interested in Doctor Who and Star Trek. It's all about stage presence and emotional reality, not cheap starry gimmicks.
COLLEAGUE
So who do you have lined up for King Lear?
A MAN IN DARTH VADER HELMET WALKS ON.
ENDS
SKETCH 2
GREG DORAN AND DAVID TENNANT ARE IN REHEARSALS FOR HAMLET.
GREG DORAN
Right, David, when you're ready.
DAVID TENNANT
(SCOTTISH ACCENT) To be or not to be, that is the question. Whether it is nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of ...(SWITCHES TO ESTUARY ACCENT) Whoa, whoa, whoa, but if I reverse the polarity of the neutron flow, fold it back round the TARDIS core in a feedback loop, it'll send those slings and arrows flying right back. Good night, Claudius, and well done, me. Did I tell you I'm a genius? Anyone for chips?
GREG DORAN
I knew we should have got Ricky Gervais.
ENDS
