25% solution.

GORDON BROWN IS TALKING TO NICK CLEGG.

GORDON

Nick I think it would be prudent for our 2 parties to form an alliance.

NICK

Not yet.

GORDON

Why?

NICK

We've got 20% of the voters, you've got 25% in a week it'll be the other way around.

GORDON

So you'll be the senior partners, what's your demand?

NICK

I may be Nick 30 in the bed Clegg, but I've never ridden the Lying Scotsman.

PINCHES GORDONS ARSE,

2 GUYS DRINKING PINTS ON STAGE, WINCING.

VO

Are you finding Brown bitter stale

THEY NOD

Well past it's sell by date.

THEY NOD

And far to disagreeable

A WOMAN COMES ON AND GIVES THEM 2 NEWS BEERS.

Then try new Steve Miller-bland. It's tastelss, it's bland, it's pointless but at least it's not Brown.

Not bad these, although I seem to be the only one that likes your political stuff

Thought the punch on the Ist wasn't good enough, how about......

GORDON

So you'll be the senior partners, what's your demand?

NICK

I've already got it, Milliband has promised you'll be gone by September.

The second skit I thought was very good (probably because it involves politics and beer)but shouldn't it be DAVID Miller-Bland and not Steve?

I realised that, and will now change it thanks.

Joel

My political skits are the dodgy porn of this site, every one loves em no one admits to it.

Quote: sootyj @ August 4 2008, 2:21 PM BST

My political skits are the dodgy porn of this site, every one loves em no one admits to it.

View original

If you think that's going to get me to admit to pleasuring myself whilst reading one of your efforts you've got another thing coming!

What did you think of my effort to change your 1st punch? Better, worse, preferred your own or what?

JESUS AND JUDAS ESCARIOT ARE TALKING TO A BISHOP

JESUS

Hi I'm Jesus do you mind if I join your conference of bishops. Me and my 12 disciples just returned to earth.

BISHOP

Hang on are they all guys?

JESUS

Yes we wandered the world telling people to love each other and....

BISHOP

Did you stay in separate rooms?

JESUS

Well this was ancient Palestine and we were poor so we used to huddle together in a stable at night.

BISHOP

No thanks, you might split the Anglican church. Who are you?

JUDAS

I'm Judas I grassed him up, and got him crucified.

BISHOP

You can come in.

Quote: Sofa_Matt @ August 4 2008, 2:26 PM BST

If you think that's going to get me to admit to pleasuring myself whilst reading one of your efforts you've got another thing coming!

What did you think of my effort to change your 1st punch? Better, worse, preferred your own or what?

View original

It's good and it works.

I may submit both if you don't mind.

It's a good punch but maybe a touch low key for a stage show.

I dont have any problem if you ever wish to send off a sketch with one of my edits. I will of course be very interested to hear any feedback if you get any.

Like the whole Jesus sketch. I've often thought that it would be interesting if Jesus returned to the world to see what his reaction would be to how the world chooses to celebrate his life.

A good sketch made nicely topical.

Quote: sootyj @ August 4 2008, 2:21 PM BST

My political skits are the dodgy porn of this site, every one loves em no one admits to it.

View original