Baby

I've just watched some episodes of Jam and have decided to try my hand at writing something in the style since I idolise Chris Morris. Here it is.

INT. A HOSPITAL ROOM - DAY

There is a woman on a bed having just given birth. There is her husband next to her and a few doctors and midwives. One of the midwives is putting a blanket round a baby.

MIDWIFE
Congratulations. It's a bouncing baby boy

As she walks over to the woman on the bed she trips over and drops the baby on the ground. There is an appropriate baby-hitting-the-ground noise. There is a pause where everyone looks at each other as if to say "what do we do now?"

HUSBAND
You liar. He didn't bounce at all

Everyone laughs heartily.

MIDWIFE
Can we get a mop in here?

Well that's very dark.

But it got a shocked, and genuine grin from me.

Didn't work for me until I visualised a shocked pause after the baby is dropped where the midwife freezes and they all look at each other - then the husband breaks out in grin and says his line.

Then I read it again and laughed - maybe add this direction? Could just be me and my needing everything spelt out for me.

Very Morris-esque though and funny.

Quote: Simon Stratton @ August 2 2008, 10:56 PM BST

Didn't work for me until I visualised a shocked pause after the baby is dropped where the midwife freezes and they all look at each other - then the husband breaks out in grin and says his line.

Then I read it again and laughed - maybe add this direction? Could just be me and my needing everything spelt out for me.

Very Morris-esque though and funny.

View original

Just needs one extra word:

As she walks over to the woman on the bed she trips over and drops the baby on the ground. SPLAT!

Too Grimm for me though.

It was a bit obvious. Didn't seem that Chris Morris to me either.

Emulating him is a difficult thing to do. He could do pretty much anything and get away with it. Other writers don't have that freedom.

Thanks for the feedback guys. I have edited in some of the suggested improvements.

This one seems a bit hit and miss, but I guess that's expected with this kind of sketch.

I think it would be funny to play it the other way.

I'd like to see the baby bounce. Literally. Would be funny to see the doctor chase it down the ward as the baby bounces away.