An office.
A worker (Colin) comes in, sneezing. He looks a little ill. His nose is red and his eyes are runny. He sits at his desk and it becomes apparent that he is wearing enormous comedy shoes. Stephen notices this.
Stephen
Erm, Colin.
Colin
Yes?
Stephen
Your shoes look a little big.
Colin
My what?
Stephen
Your shoes. Bit on the big side.
Colin looks down. Sudden realisation of his shoes.
Colin
Oh, are they?
Colin sneezes again. He blows his nose. Suddenly he is wearing a red nose.
Stephen
What's up with your nose?
Colin.
Nothing...
Colin goes to open his desk drawer, it explodes open with streamers making a very loud noise. Stephen looks at him.
Stephen
Everything alright, Colin?
Colin
Yes. Fine.
Colin picks up his pen to write. Ink squirts in his face. He rubs his eyes. Stephen looks on, shocked.
Colin.
Look, Stephen. It's not what you think.
Colin gets up from his desk and his pants fall down. He hurriedly pulls them up.
Colin
Actually, I think I might have to go home early. It looks like I'm becoming a Clown.
Stephen nods silently and slowly pulls his chair further away from Colin. Colin holds up his trousers with one hand and stomps towards the door, his shoes squeaking with every step. He gets to the hat stand.
Colin
I'm sorry, Stephen. I'll ring you later, see how I feel.
Stephen (still in shock)
Not a problem.
Colin puts on his hat, which is a bowler hat with a bright orange wig attached to it. He now looks completely like a Clown. Hat, wig, nose, trousers, comedy shoes. He trips as he walks out the door, falling down the stairs. The door falls off his hinges, causing the hat stand to collapse.
Stephen looks on as the sides fall off Colin's desk and his computer explodes in a puff of smoke.
A beat.
Stephen sneezes.
He blows his nose in the mirror and sees that he has full face of Clown make-up. He looks over his shoulder to see an elephant blowing water from his trunk.
Cue clown music.
Da da da da da dah duuuuuuh duuuuuuuh.
END.
