Stand Up

Hi there,

I've been writing Stand Up by myself for a long time, but I've never really shared it before as I haven't really had the chance. Anyway, I've managed to film a short piece about Computers. Basically I really want some feedback on it, because you can work forever by yourself without seeing how people react to it.

So here it is, and I don't mind if you hate it as it is my first attempt, but please be gentle! If you let me know what you think, I'll love you forever.

It's got a bit of swearing in there, but I'm sure nothing you can't handle!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h8eQZ_56hVw

Thanks so much,
Matt

Hi Matt

I liked it overall. It had a good opening where you link the size of a penis to a memory stick. I thought the bit where you say 'yes, I actually let one in' needs to be cut as in my opinion this disrupts your flow. Although still close to the start, up until then I was getting into your routine then this line yanks me back out. The same goes for the bit where you explain what PC World is.

When the techy guy is talking in your home about the computer repair I thought you were going to take it to the point where the guy considering changing a setting on the motherboard is akin to making an important diplomatic decision on whether to fire a nuclear warhead on a unsupecting crowded city. For me though, your material never quite reached this area.

I did like the breast connection between the fit girl on the ads and the sloby guy in the store, and I thought this was a good way to end the routine with the breast punchline.

So overall I did like it. You seemed very nervous in your delivery but hopefully this would improve with more experience. I have never done standup so cannot relate directly, but I have done business presentations to larger groups of people and I one thing I found was that it is important to control the audience and not show any fear or nerves of what you are doing. In my experience, if the business crowd see a chink in your armour there will always be some clever sod who will pick away at it and try and make you look a fool in front of everyone. In standup I guess this would be the hecklers who will try and pick you apart.

Anyway...keep at it and good luck.

Def.

Hi Matt,

I've done a bit of stand up so hope I can help,

I liked your delivery, but even thought you weren't performing infront of people you still seemed stiff and unrelaxed (but then again performing your routine by yourself is weird in my opinion, I hate doing it.

The jokes were solid but need some work, The part with the engineer coming round I found a bit weak, you seem to be just "Saying what we're thinking but not with a funny twist" I'd suggest what Deferenz said and try comparing it to something else like nuclear war. the PC world bit was my favourite, the woman and the man worked well too.

Only suggest is re-write it, make it a cleaner delivery.

But this is your first attempt, it's pretty good.

I'd second that - great for a first attempt and nice line to end on.

It's PC World though, not Worlds.

Thanks so much for the comments, I was really nervous about sharing this as it felt kind of personal. I really am a f**king loser.

Yeah, I can see how the computer repair man bit was a bit weak, it just didn't really have a punchline. Thanks for the advice on that though, I really think I can work on it.

With the delivery I'm experimenting a bit with what I do physically when I do stand up - standing still or walking around a bit etc. and I had the obvious camera limitations. I wasn't too nervous, it's just a bit weird performing infront of a camera. It's nothing I'm not used to, just different as I feel somewhat more comfortable naked.

Seriously thanks so much for the comments, they're invaluable to me. I was petrified every one was going to hate it!

If there are other comments please tell me. I won't be offended, honest.

Matt

It's all about taking the punches Matt, your next step is a crowd!

Well *cough* I happen to be 'into' computers. I'm not quite like that though!
The last 20 seconds about the waddling fat man genuinely made me laugh out loud! It's quite clever.. and worryingly true!
Execution, imo, is quite jimmy carr mixed with the gestures of ricky gervais. Overall enjoyed it! Do another if you have the material!
Good stuff!

Thanks guys, that really means so much!

As for the middle bit, I've thought about the punchline "I said the disk drive won't open, not I'm trying to build a bomb for Al qaeda"

And I'll do another one at some point when no one else is in the house so my family don't think I'm weird.

Thanks again,

Matt

Has anyone else got any tips?

Where might be a good venue for a stand-up virgin in London - or just outside?