Ahah! 
How do you get a book published? Page 2
Quote: Griff @ July 31 2008, 10:45 AM BST
I have all these books, and i'm still an unemployed bum - you do the math.
Though i imagine you've gotta actually do something with the contacts, instead of just reading them and saying "Oooooh, 'Carp Fishing weekly' accepts submissions! Get in."
Quote: Flaner @ August 1 2008, 1:41 AM BSTI have all these books, and i'm still an unemployed bum - you do the math.
Though i imagine you've gotta actually do something with the contacts, instead of just reading them and saying "Oooooh, 'Carp Fishing weekly' accepts submissions! Get in."
IT'S FUCKING MATHS!!!!!
Someone saying "math" in a comic phrase has to be less of an issue than this:
Quote: Norman Wisdom @ July 31 2008, 10:45 AM BSTIs there any publishers you could recommend I email ?
Quote: David Chapman @ August 1 2008, 1:47 AM BSTIT'S FUCKING MATHS!!!!!
'You do the maths' doesn't quite have the same ring to it.
Go figure!
Norman isn't interested in anyones opinion about who he should send his stuff to anyway. Or I'd be very surprised if he is! His reason for asking? A mystery! 
well, just ignore my f**king expertise, there's no way I'll tell you the secrets now
drunk again
Quote: bushbaby @ August 1 2008, 2:06 AM BSTwell, just ignore my f**king expertise, there's no way I'll tell you the secrets now
I feel like the person who just doesn't quite make in into the fountain of youth and crumbles to dust by it's effervescing waters. 
But wait.. a splash of water has landed on my..
Quote: Marc P @ August 1 2008, 12:37 AM BSTWhat was dumb about the question in a forum for writers asking for help from other writers?
Have I missed something?
Let's assume we're all comedy writers. However good, bad, successful or unsuccessful we are, I think a necessary ingredient is a sense of humour – however small – right?
So let's re-cap shall we?
(1)‘Norman Wisdom' asked, ‘Is there any publishers you could recommend I email?'
(2)Griff suggested (posted pic of) ‘The Writers' and Artists' Yearbook'
(3)I, (Morrace) suggested (posted pic of) ‘The Writers Handbook'
(4)Griff also suggested (posted pic of) ‘The Screenwriter's Handbook'
(5)I, (Morrace) with my tongue placed firmly in my cheek, piped up with ‘This might help along the way! (posted pic of) ‘How To Win Friends And Influence People'
(6)Marc P (Profile: ‘Wannabe sitcom writer') asks me, ‘Why?'
Here's what I thought to myself: ‘now this is a comedy site – it's a wind-up – I mean, it's in the title, innit?' So I replied ‘'Cos there's a page in there about asking dumb questions.'
Then old Marcy P (Profile: ‘Wannabe sitcom writer') comes up with ‘What was dumb about the question in a forum for writers asking for help from other writers? Have I missed something?
Yes, you have missed something, Marcy P ---
Oh - and again in anticipation of any 'clever' replies – Yes, I do need to read ‘How To Win Friends And Influence People' – or even BETTER - ‘How To Win Friends And Influence People Who Have No Sense Of Humour'!
Sure I remember reading or hearing somewhere that if you have to explain your 'joke' (and in that much detail) then it probably really isn't funny. 
Quote: Morrace @ August 1 2008, 3:52 AM BSTLet's assume we're all comedy writers. However good, bad, successful or unsuccessful we are, I think a necessary ingredient is a sense of humour – however small – right?
So let's re-cap shall we?
(1)‘Norman Wisdom' asked, ‘Is there any publishers you could recommend I email?'
(2)Griff suggested (posted pic of) ‘The Writers' and Artists' Yearbook'
(3)I, (Morrace) suggested (posted pic of) ‘The Writers Handbook'
(4)Griff also suggested (posted pic of) ‘The Screenwriter's Handbook'
(5)I, (Morrace) with my tongue placed firmly in my cheek, piped up with ‘This might help along the way! (posted pic of) ‘How To Win Friends And Influence People'
(6)Marc P (Profile: ‘Wannabe sitcom writer') asks me, ‘Why?'Here's what I thought to myself: ‘now this is a comedy site – it's a wind-up – I mean, it's in the title, innit?' So I replied ‘'Cos there's a page in there about asking dumb questions.'
Then old Marcy P (Profile: ‘Wannabe sitcom writer') comes up with ‘What was dumb about the question in a forum for writers asking for help from other writers? Have I missed something?
Yes, you have missed something, Marcy P ---
Oh - and again in anticipation of any 'clever' replies – Yes, I do need to read ‘How To Win Friends And Influence People' – or even BETTER - ‘How To Win Friends And Influence People Who Have No Sense Of Humour'!
Sorry mate still missing it. But I do agree with your notion that having a sense of humour helps if you want to write comedy. How are you getting on with that?
Quote: David Chapman @ August 1 2008, 1:47 AM BSTIT'S FUCKING MATHS!!!!!
Yeah! Mathsematics!
* RINGS BELL * (it's not a moderators bell!)
"Playtime, children! And no sweeties before lunch!"
Our Morrace does put one hell of an effort into his emails, I'll give him that!
Quote: bushbaby @ August 1 2008, 2:06 AM BSTwell, just ignore my f**king expertise, there's no way I'll tell you the secrets now
If, maybe, I was, perhaps, writing a novel in my spare time, would it be ok to contact you for advice on where to take it once I've finished, had it proof read and generally tightened up?
Mills and Boon. It's the only thing I can think of that's more embarrassing than the real answer.