What 5 things would you put in Room 101 & why? Page 4

Seeing as how I'm writing the BCG article for "Room 101", I might as well put what I would want to get rid of.

1) Our Lady and St. Bede's R.C. Comp. - My old school. I hated when I was their because I got picked on, and I hate it now because of the religious hypocracy. For example, one lesson involved pro-life campaigners telling us why abortion was wrong, using a slide show featuring aborted foetuses.

2) My health - I have Asperger's Syndrome, fine motor dyspraxia, hayfever and my skin so sensitive that I have been sunburned from everywhere: From Paris to Pisa, from Cardiff to Berwick.

3) Pedants on Wikipedia - The vandalism I can cope with, but the sheer levels of pedantry on Wikipedia drives me up the wall at times. You try your best to make an article 100% perfect, and then someone tells you that a picture has the wrong copyright-licence or you used the wrong their/there.

4) Media moguls - Rupert Murdoch, Robert Maxwell, Richard Desmond, Paul Dacre - all gits!

5) 2, The Ranting Gryphon - I'm what is known as a "Furry" - i.e., someone who enjoys art, comics and so forth about anthropomorphic animals (like Sonic the Hedgehog, Roger Rabbit etc). 2 (real name Matthew Davis) is the most famous furry comedian around. He is also the least funny comedian that I know of. Imagine Marcus Brigstocke, Charlie Brooker or Bill Hicks, but with no humour whatsoever. All is left is just pure anger and hate. Just pointless ranting about anything and everything. I have never heard him commenting nicely about something. Also, the only way I can talk about him is by ranting, which is even more annoying!

I'm having lots of goes at this..

1. TELEVISON (radio is ok and useful)
2. COMPUTERS (none are required, honestly, none..)
3. MOBILE PHONES (home phones are ok, SILENT texters/pagers are ok)
4. CARS/MOTORBIKES (bicycles, lorries, trains and buses are OK)
5. DRUGS (especially tobacco/alcohol and clinical drugs)

Why? They are going to destroy the human race!!! Yes! Save yourselves from these meni!

also...

1. Anyone who is "in yer face"; or who has "attitude"; or is loud and aggressive.

2. Anyone who adopts anything remotely "street" as either a fashion statement or lifestyle.

3. Anyone who, when in a foreign or host country, speaks their native language loudly and aggressively on public transport or in the street… If you come to Spain to live, learn Spanish, you ignorami! Oh, and have some respect for the indigenous minorities if there are any left that you haven't killed yet...

4. Anyone who has a tattoo who is not a sailor...any sailor who has a tattoo that is not a ‘Crown & Anchor'... any tattoo that does not have a suitable sailor responsible for it.

5. Anyone who doesn't believe that we are all created equal, anyone who will not "love thy neighbour…", anyone who believes that they and only they are "the chosen few", anyone who knocks on your door to "save you…" (except firemen)

Of course, I could go on..

Fx

I'm not really sure why tobacco hasn't been banned yet.

Quote: Simon Stratton @ July 31 2008, 10:00 AM BST

I'm not really sure why tobacco hasn't been banned yet.

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Makes to much money.

Makes too much money for the wrong people and gets spent in the wrong way?

The best ban would be if the idiots who smoke would just stop buying the excrement.

Can I put "Misuse of the concept of Room 101" in Room 101?

Room 101 isn't a place where things are left to be forgotten about. That would be an oubliette. Room 101 is a torture chamber containing "the worst thing in the world", which I guess is where the confusion arises.

But the point is, you don't get to choose what goes in Room 101 or "put" anything there. Room 101 doesn't empower you. You're taken to Room 101 and subjected to whatever the worst thing in the world is for you.

So a better question would be "If you were taken to Room 101, what would you find there?"

My answer: a bunch of television producers discussing which bit of 1984 should be next for the TV rip off treatment.

"Ministry Of Truth", anyone? "Two Minutes' Hate?" How about "Do It To Julia!"

1) Fat Brian picking his nose opposite me RIGHT NOW. EDIT: Oh, God, he's just stuck his finger in his ear and licked it. I'm sure he thinks he's invisible because HE'S not looking at anybody.

2) The techies who thought it would be a good idea to let people play MP3 tracks through their phone's rubbish speakers. I don't blame the chavs who take advantage of the facility, they're just morons, they can't help it.

3) Yoghurt.

4) Clowns. In fact all street entertainers including jugglers. If they were on your telly you'd switch off, but because you're out shopping you've got to see them. Scum of the earth, especially buskers who sing like Liam Gallagher (i.e. all of them).

5) Lists of five when you can only think of four.

- The cult of Mac (the computer, not the strawberry blonde one).
- The dog from next door (he's an arsehole _and_ a dog).
- Hot weather.
- People who believe that market mechanisms can solve any problem, who at the same time do not understand markets.
- Real cynicism, the supposed fast track to coolness that really isn't.

I'd use the opportunity to get rid of my hair as well, but it isn't more evil than cynicists and market enthusiasts, yet.

Quote: Frankie Rage @ July 31 2008, 10:07 AM BST

Makes too much money for the wrong people and gets spent in the wrong way?

The best ban would be if the idiots who smoke would just stop buying the excrement.

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Yeah, the problem there is it's addictive and easily available. If you're feeling a bit down it's easy to pop to the shops and pick up a packet.
The fact that it makes a lot of money for people can't be right, surely? Otherwise all drugs would be legal.

Poor JuliaC.

I like Bradbury, she looks like a game girl and would probably go like the clappers.

My list:

1. Simon Cowell - his frankness about bad singers is fine, but his smugness I cannot bear. He also represents the worse aspects of commerical, generic music, i.e. Leona Lewis. Great voice, but no personality. Plus I never watch The X Factor. Seeing as writers like to write exaggerated comic characters, the fact that such people exist and are cheaply shown on reality shows frightens me.

2. Cucumbers - the only solid form of water apart from ice, and as I don't drink water, it makes me feel sick.

3. Clubbing - too noisy, too cramped, too sweaty, just a thoroughly unpleasant way to spend a night out. Pubs are much better.

4. The BBC1 dancer idents - when they were introduced, they were a waste of money, and since then, TV channels have used loads of pointless idents featuring people rather than actual symbols and logos, plus there's been an emphasis on singing and dancing ever since (Strictly Come Dancing, Dancing on Ice, Strictly Dance Fever, Last Choir Standing, the Joseph and Sound of Music shows...).

5. American studio audiences - why must they always go "OooooOOOOH!" when a couple kiss? Or cheer wildly when a "celebrity walks on to the set?

Quote: Finck @ July 31 2008, 10:15 AM BST

- The cult of Mac (the computer, not the strawberry blonde one).

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It's a good job you clarified that, or you'd have had a mass revolt(consisting of my friend Katrina and I) on your hands!

Quote: Scatterbrained Floozy @ July 31 2008, 11:12 AM BST

It's a good job you clarified that, or you'd have had a mass revolt(consisting of my friend Katrina and I) on your hands!

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I first thought I'd made a narrow escape there, but then I realised that I'm hundreds of miles away and you'd never catch me. You'd have to cross the Channel...

(I like Guy.)

*hides, as a precaution*

Quote: Griff @ July 30 2008, 11:59 PM BST

OK guys I'm going to try and get a page of sitcom written before bed. Night all.

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Did you manage it?