Poker Kid

INT. A FUNCTION ROOM - NIGHT

There is a family party going on for a wedding or something. A man is stood around with a drink in his hand, minding his own business. A little kid is in front of him, constantly poking him.

MAN
Hey kid, could you stop poking me

The kid shakes his head and carries on.

MAN
Come on, it's really annoying

The kid just ignores him.

MAN
Do you want me to go tell your mum that you're being naughty?

The kid shakes his head and carries on again.

MAN
Right (The man picks the kid up and moves him to the right) why don't you go here for a bit

The man lets go of the kid and he just flops to the ground. We switch to a POV shot of the man. He looks at the kid on the ground in a hysterical fit of crying. Slowly he looks to the left to see an empty wheelchair.

Very dark, I like it's suddeness

a real Ronseal skit, in a good way.

I like your stuff Chris and this is another great one.

Nice work Chris. If you don't mind I'd like to add a couple of slight clarifications to make it a cleaner read. If I may be so bold...

INT. FUNCTION ROOM - NIGHT

A family wedding. A MAN is stood with a drink in his hand, minding his own business. A KID is sat next to him, poking him in the ribs.

MAN
Can you stop that?

The kid shakes his head and carries on.

MAN
Come on, it's really annoying

The kid just ignores him.

MAN
Do you want me to go tell your mum that you're being naughty?

The kid shakes his head and carries on again.

MAN
Right!

The man picks the kid up from his seat and carries him to one side.

MAN (CONT)
Why don't you go here for a bit?

The man lets go. The kid flops to the ground and begins crying hysterically.

Slowly, the Man looks to the left to see an empty wheelchair.

Good idea Chris, well executed David.

Not sure how Sootyj and Leevil liked this before the edit, quite disturbing

Lol, to be honest I just presumed he was sitting next to him for some reason.

Oh ok, you have restored my faith in you Now where is that Sootyj?!

I think it's a great idea but i just don't see how it could at all be presented. He's picked him out of a chair then after putting him down, looked back at the chair and only now noticed it's got great big wheels on it?

If it's not a sketch you'd ever want to do then just ignore this but i think you could have the kid scuffle over to him, on the floor and start jabbing him with a bike pump. Then the man loses it, cuffs him and dumps him in a bin. Then when he turns around someone closes a door behind them (or moves an object) to reveal the wheelchair. Whad'ya reckon?

Thanks for the feedback everyone. Glad you like this, and yeah the kid was pictured in my head as sitting down, just must have been lost in translation from brain to paper.

Quote: Beelzebozo @ July 30 2008, 12:04 AM BST

I think it's a great idea but i just don't see how it could at all be presented. He's picked him out of a chair then after putting him down, looked back at the chair and only now noticed it's got great big wheels on it?

If it's not a sketch you'd ever want to do then just ignore this but i think you could have the kid scuffle over to him, on the floor and start jabbing him with a bike pump. Then the man loses it, cuffs him and dumps him in a bin. Then when he turns around someone closes a door behind them (or moves an object) to reveal the wheelchair. Whad'ya reckon?

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The image I have in my mind is that the bloke isn't really paying much attention to the kid, like he's trying to act cool or something.

To be honest I don't really see how the second paragraph would work, it just seems to over-complicate it and switch it from a bit of a naughty laugh on the sly to some bizarre scene.

wheelchair kid could be sat down in a regular chair, with wheelchair nearby - having a comfort break, if you will - then the reveal would work

Quote: Badge @ July 30 2008, 1:48 AM BST

wheelchair kid could be sat down in a regular chair, with wheelchair nearby - having a comfort break, if you will - then the reveal would work

View original

Oh, that's good. Better yet, how about having the Man having a go at the kid for flopping about on the floor then have the Kid's mum show up with his wheelchair and a look of horror?