Stag Night

SCENE. INT. NIGHT. DIRTY PUB.

5 Men are sat around a large table – the men are very drunk and shouting rather loudly.

STAG
(Slurred)
Lad's I just want to say, it's been a great night! I f**king love you!

MATE#1
(Also slurred)
It's not over yet mate!

STAG
Oh god! What have you lot up to now!

MATE#2
We got you a stripper!

All the men start shouting and hooting as the door opens and a man comes out with a wallpaper stripper.

MATE#3
She's got three heat settings!

The men continue hooting and shouting as the wall stripper starts steaming.

STAG
(Blushing)
Jesus, you guys! Don't let the missus know about this!

END

I haven't wrote anything for a while, but Slag suggested I shouldn't stop all together... So do enjoy...

Heh heh. I like it.

Hey, you could extend that last line with:

STAG
(Blushing)
Jesus, you guys! Don't let the missus know about this...
...otherwise, she'll have me re-decorating the whole house.

Hmm.. er... or perhaps, maybe you shouldn't extend it.

Shit, I guess THAT killed the conversation

It's nicely constructed, but the punch is a little to obvious.

Quote: Mikey J @ July 27 2008, 2:06 PM BST

Heh heh. I like it.

Hey, you could extend that last line with:

STAG
(Blushing)
Jesus, you guys! Don't let the missus know about this...
...otherwise, she'll have me re-decorating the whole house.

Hmm.. er... or perhaps, maybe you shouldn't extend it.

View original

I liked it - fleshes out the original pun more. Like maybe adding one of the guys saying earlier in the sketch, "we have one HOT stripper for you..."

It made me laugh, I could imagine it being used as a WKD advert. But a good one.

Quote: Stuart Laws @ July 28 2008, 3:21 PM BST

It made me laugh, I could imagine it being used as a WKD advert. But a good one.

View original

You can use it in your WKD adverts that aren't actually yours if you want...

And thanks for the comments guys, loads that can be done with it in my opinion.

your best in a long while. Write. More.

Yeah, s'alreet.

Quote: SlagA @ July 28 2008, 11:13 PM BST

your best in a long while. Write. More.

View original

If only for you, If only for you... I'll try.