Quote: Calvin Williams @ July 22 2008, 11:49 AM BSTIt's just i have it in my head but don't or can't be bothered to put it to paper. But i will try and get around to it soon.
Spoken like a true comedy writer.
My Sitcom Script - first half of episode Page 4
Quote: Seefacts @ July 22 2008, 10:46 AM BSTBut is Carla Lane even a well known figure?
I'd have thought your average comedy fan wouldn't know who she was.
no - the number that have heard of her may be ok, but the number that know who she is is smaller, the number that know she's a leftie tree hugger is smaller still and the by the time you get to those who know that well enough that they instantly get the gag you might as well make a joke about her third nipple.
Pete, I am sorry mate but his gag was better than yours.
Harsh critiques? Telling Seefacts off for a fair comment is a bit harsh.
Marc P do you have a comical German accent too?
Wasn't exactly telling him off, just telling him how to do it.
Being helpful really.
And no, but I can do WC Fields.
Now he was funny.
UPDATE:
I just checked beacuse I wasn't entirely sure but the atual lines were.
MARLENE:
Just look at it. It's like a bad day in Noah's ark.
BOYSIE:
Well as long as we don't invite Rolf Harris round for tea we'll be alright.
So there you go.
Carla Lane may be an animal rights activist now but she was/is no slouch when it came to comedy writing (Liver Birds onwards), albeit a lot of hits and misses.
From imdb:----
* 2000s
* 1990s
* 1980s
* 1970s
* 1960s
1. "The Last Laugh" (2005) TV series (unknown episodes)
2. Butterflies Reunion Special (2000) (TV) (writer)
3. "Searching" (1995) TV series (writer)
4. "Luv" (1993) TV series (unknown episodes)
5. "Screaming" (1992) TV series (unknown episodes)
6. A Night of Comic Relief 2 (1989) (TV) (uncredited)
7. "Bread" (1986) TV series (unknown episodes)
8. "I Woke Up One Morning" (1985) TV series (writer)
9. "The Mistress" (1985) TV series (writer)
10. "Leaving" (1984) TV series (unknown episodes)
11. "Butterflies" (28 episodes, 1978-1983)
- Loose Ends (1983) TV episode (writer)
- Breaking Up (1983) TV episode (writer)
- Calling (1983) TV episode (writer)
- Cleaning Windows (1983) TV episode (writer)
- Pot (1983) TV episode (writer)
(23 more)
12. "Solo" (13 episodes, 1981-1982)
- Episode #2.7 (1982) TV episode (writer)
- Episode #2.6 (1982) TV episode (writer)
- Episode #2.5 (1982) TV episode (writer)
- Episode #2.4 (1982) TV episode (writer)
- Episode #2.3 (1982) TV episode (writer)
(8 more)
13. "The Last Song" (1981) TV series (unknown episodes)
14. "Liebe ist doof" (1980) TV series (writer)
15. Butterflies (1979) (TV) (creator)
16. Me You and Him (1979) (TV) (writer)
17. Going, Going, Gone... Free? (1975) (TV) (writer)
18. "No Strings" (1974) TV series (unknown episodes)
19. "The Liver Birds" (16 episodes, 1971-1972)
- The Christening (1972) TV episode (writer)
- Fella-A-Day Girl (1972) TV episode (writer)
- Good Little Girls Should Be in Bed (1972) TV episode (writer)
- One's a Crowd (1972) TV episode (writer)
- Episode #2.12 (1971) TV episode (writer)
(11 more)
20. "Bless This House" (10 episodes, 1971-1972)
- Parents Should Be Seen and Not Heard (1972) TV episode (writer)
- Another Lost Weekend (1972) TV episode (writer)
- Love Me, Love My Tree (1972) TV episode (writer)
- Two Heads Are Better Than One (1972) TV episode (writer)
- The Morning After the Night Before (1971) TV episode (writer)
(5 more)
21. "Comedy Playhouse" (1 episode, 1969)
- The Liver Birds (1969) TV episode (writer)
Like Bobby Sand not only could she produce shit, but boy could she spread it.
Quote: sootyj @ July 22 2008, 5:53 PM BSTLike Bobby Sand not only could she produce shit, but boy could she spread it.
But, hey, sootyj -she SOLD it! Bet you wish you could sell as many of your - er - scripts.
On that basis I'd wish I were Hitler, Mein Kampf is amongst the most succesful books of all time.
You know you're almost getting this satire lark. The er with 2 dashes is good, but it's let down by the use of bold on sold.
Never mind keep trying, you're improving all the time.
To calvin, obviously there are some errors from a technical point of view, some of which have been pointed out.
Overall though i liked it, the characters are fairly likeable and to a point believable. You need to worry about the plot.
It needs a lot of rewrites and thinking going into it but you can write funny lines.
All the best.
Quote: Marc P @ July 22 2008, 2:13 PM BSTPete, I am sorry mate but his gag was better than yours.
Please say you aren't serious?????
Quote: sootyj @ July 22 2008, 6:06 PM BSTOn that basis I'd wish I were Hitler, Mein Kampf is amongst the most succesful books of all time.
You know you're almost getting this satire lark. The er with 2 dashes is good, but it's let down by the use of bold on sold.
Never mind keep trying, you're improving all the time.
Thanks for the compliment, sootyj. However, for you of all people to say I'm 'improving all the time' gives me cause for concern. I'm ovbviously going wrong somewhere. Oh, and when you said 'I'd wish I were Hitler'--
(1) May I quote you on 'Limmud'?
(2) There's a fancy dress place near you. I could get you togged up in a cod Hitler uniform (a la Freddie Starr) and take you to The Lion's Den Comedy Gong Show. You could do a re-enactment of Hitler when he shot himself in the bunker. I'll provide the pistol and blanks. You should be able to do it, 'cos you've 'died' on stage before.
Quote: Marc P @ July 22 2008, 4:16 PM BSTUPDATE:
I just checked beacuse I wasn't entirely sure but the atual lines were.
MARLENE:
Just look at it. It's like a bad day in Noah's ark.BOYSIE:
Well as long as we don't invite Rolf Harris round for tea we'll be alright.So there you go.
Now THAT'S a funny line.
Oh, look, Morrace is back.
Quote: Morrace @ July 22 2008, 7:31 PM BSTThanks for the compliment, sootyj. Howwever for you of all people to say I'm 'improving all the time' gives me cause for concern. I'm ovbviously going wrong somewhere. Oh, and when you said 'I'd wish I were Hitler'--
(1) May I quote you on 'Limmud'?
(2) There's a fancy dress place near you. I could get you togged up in a cod Hitler uniform (a la Freddie Starr) and take you to The Lion's Den Comedy Gong Show. You could do a re-enactment of Hitler when he shot himself in the bunker. I'll provide the pistol and blanks. You should be able to do it, 'cos you've 'died' on stage before.
I've died on stage a great many times, all part of starting as a standup.
The bold really does you no favours.
n.b. Lions den, Limmud do I know you from some where?
Also I envy Adolf his impressive book sales that's all. That and being the lead singer in Sparks, that msut have been cool.