British Comedy Guide

Come to the cabaret

KIRSTY WALK IS INTERVIEWING DAVE CAMERON

KIRSTY

Will you increase tax if you are Prime Minister Mr Cameron?

DAVE

Have I told you how much of a twat Gordon is?

KIRSTY

You can't keep avoiding the tax question by calling the current PM a twat.

DAVE

How about if I sing it?

TO THE TUNE OF COME TO THE CABARET

What good is asking about tax and doom ?
Come hear that Darling's gay.
Brown is a twat ok, old chum,
Brown is a twat..ok

Put down the Guardian,
The Mail and the broom.
Time for the twats to pay.
Brown is a twat ok, old chum,
The poor will pay ok

Come hear the whine,
Come see the bland.
I give Ladies the horn
Start masturbating;
Right this way,
Your table's waiting

No use permitting
soem prophet of doom
To wipe every smile away.
Come hear that Darling's gay.
Brown is a twat ok, old chum,
The rick won't pay ok

I used to have a girlfriend
known as Maggie
With whom I shared
Four sordid policies in Chelsea

She wasn't what you'd call
A blushing flower...
As a matter of fact
She hated by the hour.

The day she died the Lefties
came to snicker:
"Well, thats what comes
from to much cruise and liquor."

But when I heard she's buried like the Queen
She was the happiest...corpse...
I'd ever seen.

I think of Maggie to this very day.
I'd remember how'd she turn to me and say:
"What good is shitting alone in your pants?
Come make the chavs pay.
Brown is a twat ok, old chum,
You'll all pay.. ok

And as for me,
I made up my mind back in Chelsea,
When I go, I'm going like Maggie.

Start by admitting
From cradle to tomb
We'll make you pay.
Brown is a twat ok, old chum,
Brown is a twat..ok
And there'll be more tax to pay.

Nice work! Is the song well known enough? I may be exposing myself as an ignorant twat here, but I had to google it to get the lyrics so I could compare.

Pretty much, I'm not sure I want to live in a world where people don't know the songs from Cabaret.

Quote: sootyj @ July 21 2008, 10:58 AM BST

KIRSTY WALK IS INTERVIEWING DAVE CAMERON

KIRSTY

Will you increase tax if you are Prime Minister Mr Cameron?

DAVE

Have I told you how much of a twat Gordon is?

KIRSTY

You can't keep avoiding the tax question by calling the current PM a twat.

DAVE

How about if I sing it?

TO THE TUNE OF COME TO THE CABARET

What good is asking about tax and doom ?
Come hear that Darling's gay.
Brown is a twat ok, old chum,
Brown is a twat..ok

Put down the Guardian,
The Mail and the broom.
Time for the twats to pay.
Brown is a twat ok, old chum,
The poor will pay ok

Come hear the whine,
Come see the bland.
I give Ladies the horn
Start masturbating;
Right this way,
Your rabbit's waiting

No use permitting
soem prophet of doom
To wipe every smile away.
Come hear that Darling's gay.
Brown is a twat ok, old chum,
The rich won't pay any ok

I used to have a girlfriend
known as Maggie
With whom I shared
Four sordid policies in Chelsea

She wasn't what you'd call
A blushing flower...
As a matter of fact
She hated by the hour.

The day she died the Lefties
came to snicker:
"Well, thats what comes
from to much cruise and liquor."

But when I heard she's buried like the Queen
She was the happiest...corpse...
I'd ever seen.

I think of Maggie to this very day.
I'd remember how'd she turn to me and say:
"What good is shitting alone in your pants?
Come make the all chavs pay.
Brown is a twat ok, old chum,
You'll all pay.a lot . ok

And as for me,
I made up my mind back in Chelsea,
When I go, I'm going like Maggie.

Start by admitting
From cradle to tomb
We'll make you pay.
Brown is a twat ok, old chum,
Brown is a twat..ok
And there'll be more tax to pay.

Sorry. You do.

Quote: sootyj @ July 21 2008, 11:31 AM BST

Pretty much, I'm not sure I want to live in a world where people don't know the songs from Cabaret.

That may well be the gayest thing I've ever read on this board. And that includes the Aaron/ian_w slash fiction over in General Discussion.

And it's one of those rock solid musicals that are hard to get wrong on stage.

I'm looking to write a kinda 3 part Cabaret style Cameron medley,

there's this and National Socialist, and finish up with Brown singing you'd hardly know I'm socialist at all.

Quote: Griff @ July 21 2008, 11:39 AM BST

Have you seen it, Bandage?

I saw the movie version years ago.

Oh dear how terribly UN-PC.

That said they had a gas chamber scene?

Holocaust symbology is getting so cheapened these days.

I dread when Phil Mitchell turns the Queen Vic into a concentration camp, for asslyum seekers.

My brother stage managed it at RADA one year, one of the best things I have seen.

Quote: Griff @ July 21 2008, 11:58 AM BST

Oh yes. Subtle, it wasn't.

It's not exactly Pinter to begin with. Who looks at Cabaret and thinks "What this needs is more camp?"

Agreed.

Ich bin ein camera.

Err Sehr gut... allegedly. Ahem.

I was referring to the play which was the original genesis of them all.

The one without Phil Collins obviously.

I think specificaly it was the novel goodbye to Berlin. Although the short stories and another novel I can't remeber the title of was about his time in prewar Berlin, that was the one with the woman who Sally Bowles is based on and I can't remember her name either,

I have a fat copy of Ezra Pound's Cantos which I have only ever glanced at while trying to find something else.

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