Skippy

I apoologise in advance, my muse forced me to write this.

2 BBC EXECS TALKING

BBC1
Right it's that time of the year we hate, public information films for kids on stranger danger.

BBC2
Yes we always get complaints. Do we have to have a beloved, avuncular, Kids TV presenter pretend to be a kiddy fiddler? I still have nightmares over Go with Nokes.

BBC1
And Rolfe Harris saying "Can you see what it is yet?"

BBC3 ENTERS

BBC3
Don't worry the Australian broadcasting corporation seem to have found the perfect solution.

SOUND OF TAPE BEING PLAYED

CHILD (AUSTRALIAN ACCENT)
What's that Skip, you want me to put my hand all the way in to your pouch? That doesn't sound right.

KANGAROO NOISES

CHILD
What's that skip? It'll be our little secret.

GRAMS(TO TUNE OF SKIPPY THE BUSH KANGAROO)
Skippy, Skippy the paedophile kangaroo,

Absolutely brilliant!

Oh, hang on a minute, your muse forced me to write that

It's a sod isn't it my muse, it forces me to drink before going to work, and write skits about sexually predatory Marsupials.

I like it, although the Skippy reference is a bit this.

Skippy the Nonce Kangaroo might scan better.

Well except Skippy was played by half a dozen Kangaroos, I think they all got eaten in the end.

I'm not sure paedophile kangaroo seems to scan better to me, but then I'm tone deaf/

n.b. saw Winkler in 3rd Watch playing a brilliantly creepy Fritzell style villain.

He he, nice reference to your own blog there Graham. So Joel, are you finding all this 'critique' helpful so far

Quote: Griff @ July 17 2008, 10:07 AM BST

Well you've been threatening to write this for ages.

I have to say, I'm all paedo-ed out in terms of comedy. I know it's the comedy topic that keeps on giving (Knock Knock, Who's there, A Paedo) but, to coin a phrase, I'VE HAD IT WITH KIDDY FIDDLERS.

Having said all that, you have executed this one very nicely and it does what it says on the tin. Although where on Earth you would submit it is beyond me.

View original

C'mon this one's going on ice. First BBC paedophile scandal it's straight off to News Revue.

Quote: Sofa_Matt @ July 17 2008, 10:09 AM BST

He he, nice reference to your own blog there Graham. So Joel, are you finding all this 'critique' helpful so far

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Yes I am very vain, like Jordan any attention is good.
I'm going to adopt a refugee baby today.

By the way earlier remarks sincere? or ironic?

n.b. just got the pun there Griff, very nice you putting that in a sitcom or can I have it?

Yes and that's mild compared to the notorious Cuddle Cat song.

Frankly I would be delighted to know what they did for 9/11,

Fly me to the World Trade Centre?

or the death of Mother Theresa (who was actually a bit dodgy)

bet they actually wrote "Sandals in the Bin"

My earlier comments were just an attempt at blowing away the comedy comwebs. I think that you've given me an idea though, how about a pedo armed with a bag of sweets who gets his just deserts when he discovers that his intended victims are all armed with knives?

Hmm fancy some sweets?

Only if they're in your wallet.

Would you like to see my puppies?

No but you can see my pitbull.

Pretty much writes it's self.

Quote: Griff @ July 17 2008, 10:18 AM BST

I just read a terrific piece in my Onion book about the death of Mother Teresa:

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/30076

My favourite NewsRevue bad taste sketch is the one about Jordan's baby Harvey being left unsupervised and eating all the other babies.

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That is both genius, and unebelievably horrible sorry I missed it. (The Jordan skit that is).

Quote: sootyj @ July 17 2008, 10:20 AM BST

Hmm fancy some sweets?

Only if they're in your wallet.

Would you like to see my puppies?

No but you can see my pitbull.

Pretty much writes it's self.

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I would only ever suggest ideas to you that write themselves

Am I being mocked again?

Maybe time for a mega sulk.

I shouldn't worry. My writing is so poor my victims dont even know when they are being mocked

Quote: Griff @ July 17 2008, 10:18 AM BST

I just read a terrific piece in my Onion book about the death of Mother Teresa:

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/30076

My favourite NewsRevue bad taste sketch is the one about Jordan's baby Harvey being left unsupervised and eating all the other babies.

View original

I used to live in Brighton, Jordan's home town. I was in line for a club one time when she walked past and started getting wolf whistles from the blokes. She screamed back, without any appropriate provocation, "You can't do that, I've got a blind baby!"

Congrats, Griff, on the phrase "paedoey". It's right up there with "a bit Holocausty" and "a touch rapey".

Sootyj, an okay skit I thought but I echo Griff's sentiments. Kiddy fiddler jokes are so passe.

Ach I'm just pleased it was well strcutured.

Sometimes I just get an idea I want to post, how ever poor.
It's a challenge to make the bad ones work.

A bit bitey, ala Shawn of the Dead.