British Comedy Guide

You've got a time machine, a gun, and one bullet Page 5

Quote: Aaron @ July 15 2008, 1:51 AM BST

No, but finding it funny in the first place felt a bit wrong. :P

Laughing out loud

There was a bloke called Ian who moved into my ex-girlfriend's shared house years ago. He stole her fridge, wiped his arse on my mate's sock and threatened to have me killed. He was a drug-dealing scumbag with a huge f**king wart on his right eyelid. He leeched off society and destroyed peoples' lives. And he wore dress shoes with tracksuit bottoms.

I swear this - if I knew where he lived now and thought I could get away with it, I'd have him killed.

That's not a joke.

Blimey!

Quote: Perry Nium @ July 15 2008, 1:56 AM BST

And he wore dress shoes with tracksuit bottoms.

For that alone...

Quote: Perry Nium @ July 15 2008, 1:56 AM BST

There was a bloke called Ian who moved into my ex-girlfriend's shared house years ago. He stole her fridge, wiped his arse on my mate's sock and threatened to have me killed. He was a drug-dealing scumbag with a huge f**king wart on his right eyelid. He leeched off society and destroyed peoples' lives. And he wore dress shoes with tracksuit bottoms.

I swear this - if I knew where he lived now and thought I could get away with it, I'd have him killed.

That's not a joke.

And now he's on this site!

I don't mind who I shoot, as long as I get to shoot them in the arse

Bugger the gun (not literally); if I had a time machine, I'd just go back to August 1888 and find out who Jack the Ripper really was.

Although that would spoil it all a bit. Half of the fun is the frustration of the mystery and not knowing.

It is more fun imagining him as some shady, intriguing character.

If you go back and see him, you'll just be faced with the reality that he's just another skanky mental. Like Fred West. :(

Quote: zooo @ July 15 2008, 2:25 AM BST

It is more fun imagining him as some shady, intriguing character.

If you go back and see him, you'll just be faced with the reality that he's just another skanky mental. Like Fred West. :(

Excuse me, what's all this "he"? Might have been a "she" real name Jill

All right then, like erm.... Mrs. West.

What the hell is her name...?

Not telling

Quote: zooo @ July 15 2008, 2:33 AM BST

All right then, like erm.... Mrs. West.

What the hell is her name...?

Rosemary.

Quote: zooo @ July 15 2008, 2:25 AM BST

It is more fun imagining him as some shady, intriguing character.

If you go back and see him, you'll just be faced with the reality that he's just another skanky mental. Like Fred West. :(

Yep, you are of course entirely correct. Again. Just like Banksy, I want to know, but I like the mystery and intrigue.

But I would like to go back to Victoriana-y times.

Banksy is supposedly *name removed*...

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/7504132.stm

Edited by Aaron.

Quote: Aaron @ July 15 2008, 2:18 AM BST

Bugger the gun (not literally); if I had a time machine, I'd just go back to August 1888 and find out who Jack the Ripper really was.

Although that would spoil it all a bit. Half of the fun is the frustration of the mystery and not knowing.

But you'd have to goto the scenes of the murders to trace him. You get spotted, and arrested and hung as Jack the Ripper.

Then who'll keep BSG safe?

Quote: Perry Nium @ July 15 2008, 1:56 AM BST

There was a bloke called Ian who moved into my ex-girlfriend's shared house years ago. He stole her fridge, wiped his arse on my mate's sock and threatened to have me killed. He was a drug-dealing scumbag with a huge f**king wart on his right eyelid. He leeched off society and destroyed peoples' lives. And he wore dress shoes with tracksuit bottoms.

I swear this - if I knew where he lived now and thought I could get away with it, I'd have him killed.

That's not a joke.

Tell your mate he can have his other sock back once he gives me back my trainers.

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