I've added some more and deleted another bit, can you please tell me if it remains interesting and somewhat funny?
Thanks.
This was just an excuse to write dialogue and practice with some characters. I just wanted to know if it flows well and if two people talking is interesting?
SCENE 1. INT. FLAT - EVENING
THE FLAT IS YOUR AVERAGE FLAT, COUCH, OVERLOADED DVD SHELF, TV.
KATE SITS ON THE COUCH.
JAMES
(V.O)
This is Kate. She is young, cool and crazy. Her friends call her Pussy and so do her enemies. She’ll do anything for anyone and I mean anything.
KATE
No, I won’t do it.
JAMES STANDS IN FRONT OF KATE, HOLDING A FILM SCRIPT.
JAMES
Oh come on?
KATE
You’re making me sound like a slut.
JAMES
It’s not you though is it? It’s the character you’ll play.
SHE FOLDS HER ARMS AND TURNS SLIGHTLY TO EMPHASIS HER UNWILLINGNESS.
KATE
I’m not going to be in your film.
JAMES
I spent ages writing this.
KATE
I don’t care, it’s degrading to women.
JAMES
You don’t believe that.
KATE
Well I don’t, but I should and I’m not doing it.
JAMES SITS DOWN NEXT TO KATE.
JAMES
(Defeated)
I don’t think I’m cut out to do this.
SHE TURNS TO CONSOLE HIM.
KATE
No come on, don’t talk like that.
JAMES LOOKS AT KATE FOR PRAISE.
JAMES
You really think I can?
KATE
Yeah. Just cut out some of the killing, sex and language.
JAMES
What? But then I’ll have to change the title as well.
KATE
Well I don’t think that would be such a bad thing.
JAMES
What’s wrong with, Blood and Pussy?
KATE
It’s a bit disgusting.
THEY BOTH THINK FOR A SECOND.
KATE (CONT'D)
Whatever happened to that other film you were writing?
JAMES
(Thinking)
What? These Guns Are For F**king?
KATE
No. That romantic comedy about those two friends?
JAMES
That was bullshit.
KATE
I thought it was good, even with the title.
JAMES
You’ve got a Pussymagnet?
KATE
Yeah, not the same a Love Actually, is it?
THEY BOTH SIT IN SILENCE.
JAMES
Do you want to have a quick read through?
KATE
You’re going to have to change her name.
JAMES
How about Kelly?
KATE
I meant Pussy.
JAMES
Come on, you know Blood and Pussy go together.
KATE SHAKES HER HEAD IN DISGUST. SHE RELUCTANTLY AGREES.
KATE
(As Pussy)
Quick Blood save me, the dams going to blow.
JAMES
(As Blood)
Don’t worry, the only damn thing that’ll be blowing tonight is you.
KATE
(As Pussy)
Oh Blood, you’re such a man.
(Pause)
Oh no, it’s General Bastard.
JAMES
(As Blood)
I’ve told you Kate, no one f**ks my Pussy but me.
(As General Bastard in an evil voice)
Blood, prepare to hemorrhage.
KATE
(As Pussy)
Quick Blood, quick.
JAMES
General Bastard. You’re going to find out why they call me Blood.
(Describing)
Blood picks up General Bastard and snaps his neck like a twig as his blood showers all over Blood.
(As General Bastard, dying)
Now I know why they call you Blood.
KATE
(As Pussy)
Oh Blood, you did it, you saved the day.
JAMES
(As Blood)
We still have to get out quick.
(As General Bastard)
Not so fast, Mr. Blood.
(As Blood)
But how?
KATE
(As Pussy)
Now you’ll find out why they call me Pussy.
(As Herself)
Nope that’s it.
JAMES
Oh come, this is the best bit.
KATE
I should be reading Shakespeare.
JAMES
Well that’s more violent then this.
KATE
Nothing is more violent then this.
THEY BOTH SIT BACK DEFLATED.
JAMES
(Beat)
Thanks.
KATE
I think I’ll have ago at writing a screenplay.
JAMES
But you’re an actress.
KATE
We prefer to be called Actors these days.
JAMES
Do you?
KATE
I don’t know?
(Beat)
Just stick a DVD on.
JAMES GOES TO THE OVERLOADED DVD SHELF. HAS A QUICK GLANCE.
JAMES
Meh. There’s nothing here.
KATE
Look in the other one.
JAMES WALKS OVER TO A DOOR WHICH CONCEALS A SMALL STORAGE ROOM. HE OPENS THE
DOOR TO REVEAL A COLLECTION OF DVDS THAT’LL MAKE BLOCKBUSTERS JEALOUS.
JAMES
(Unimpressed)
Meh. Do you want to rent?
KATE
Just pick one.
JAMES ENTERS THE ROOM AS A GREAT EXPLORER WOULD A CAVE.
JAMES
(Shouting)
Got one.
FADE TO:
INT. FLAT - NIGHT - LATER
WE SEE THE CREDITS ROLL ON THE TV.
KATE HAS FALLEN ASLEEP. JAMES IS WIDE AWAKE.
HE REACHES DOWN THE SIDE OF THE COUCH AND PLUGS THE TELEPHONE BACK IN.
HE LOOKS AT KATE AND NOTICES HE CAN SEE DOWN HER TOP.
AT FIRST HE TRIES TO RESIST LOOKING. BUT SOON LOSES TO TEMPTATION AND STRETCHES HIMSELF INTO A BETTER POSITION.
KATE
(Talking in her sleep)
Quick Blood save me.
JAMES SMILES AND STOPS LOOKING DOWN HER TOP AND FOCUSES ON HER FACE.
KATE SNAPS OUT OF HER SLEEP WITH A DEEP INTAKE OF BREATH AND CONFUSION AS SHE REALIZES WHERE SHE IS.
AT THE SAME TIME, JAMES FAILS INTO A PRETEND SLEEP.
KATE WATCHES JAMES AND SMILES. SHE REACHES OVER AND PICKS UP HIS SCRIPT, CAREFULLY AS NOT TO WAKE HIM.
KATE (CONT'D)
(Reading quietly, deep voice as Blood)
We still have to get out.
(As General Bastard, deep but quiet voice)
Not so fast Mr. Blood.
(As Pussy, still quiet)
Now you’ll find out why they call me Pussy.
JAMES PEEPS THROUGH ONE OF HIS EYES.
KATE (CONT'D)
(Reading description, quietly)
Pussy leaps up...
SHES INTERRUPTED AS THE PHONE STARTS TO RING.
JAMES
(Really disappointed)
Oh.
KATE
Oh, what?
JAMES
Oh, the phone woke me up.
(He sees the script)
What you doing with that?
KATE
I can’t hear you, I’m answering the phone.
JAMES
What?
SHE LEANS OVER JAMES TO PICK THE UP THE PHONE AND PUTS IT TO HER EAR, STILL LEANING OVER JAMES.
WHO TAKES THE OPPORTUNITY TO SMELL HER HAIR.
KATE
Hello?
(Pause)
Yeah, I’ll just ask him.
(To James)
Do you want a pizza?
JAMES
What? Who’s that?
KATE
(To phone)
What did you say your name was?
(To James)
Tony’s Pizza Place.
JAMES
Are we getting cold called by a pizza place now?
KATE
(Repeating the voice on the phone)
Not just any pizza place, Tony’s Pizza Place.
JAMES GRABS THE PHONE OFF KATE.
JAMES
(Angry)
What the bloody hell do you think you are doing?
(Pause)
What do you mean you tried to call whilst we was watching the film?
(Pause)
You’re across the street?
(Pause)
You thought a pizza would go nice with the film?
(Pause)
He says he can see us across the street.
KATE GETS UP AND LOOKS OUT OF THE WINDOW.
KATE
I can see him.
SHE WAVES.
JAMES
(To Kate)
Don’t wave.
(To Tony)
No I’m not telling her she looks pretty.
KATE RUNS OVER AND GRABS THE PHONE AND RETURNS TO THE WINDOW.
KATE
You really think I look pretty?
(Pause)
Like a Hollywood actress?
(Pause)
It’s funny you should say that, yeah, I am an actress.
(Pause)
Yeah I am.
(Pause)
I am.
(To James)
Tell him James.
JAMES
I’ll tell him to Piss off.
KATE
You tried to ring during the film?
(Pause)
Yeah, James always unplugs the phone when we watch a dvd.
(Pause)
Yeah, it is weird.
(Laughing)
Yeah, he is isn’t he?
JAMES GETS ANGRIER.
KATE (CONT'D)
Hello? (Pause) Hello?
WE SEE JAMES HAS PULLED THE PHONE PLUG OUT.
KATE (CONT'D)
He was going to give us free pizzas.
JAMES
(Plugging the phone back in)
Quick signal him to call back.
