Google Earth

INT. OFFICE - DAY

IT'S LUNCHTIME IN THE OFFICE AND TONY AND KEN ARE EATING AT THEIR DESKS. TONY IS ON HIS COMPUTER.

TONY
Hey, what's your postcode?

KEN
G116BZ. Why?

TONY TYPES ON HIS KEYBOARD.

TONY
I'm putting it into google earth. You can see a sattelite picture of your house.

KEN LOOKS PANIC STRICKEN

KEN
NO!

TONY
Yeah! You can zoom right in and everything. There it is…

ON TONY'S COMPUTER SCREEN WE SEE A SATELLITE VIEW OF A SUBURBAN STREET.

TONY
Hang on, what's that? Zoom in...

TONY CLICKS HIS MOUSE.

KEN
Hey, is that the time?

TONY
There's something in your back garden. What the hell is that? Zoom…

TONY CLICKS HIS MOUSE AGAIN.

KEN
Maybe we should get back to work, eh?

TONY
It's a massive chicken. You've got a bloody massive chicken in your back garden. Look!

WE SEE THE SATTELITE PICTURE OF KEN'S HOUSE. IT DOES INDEED HAVE A HUGE CHICKEN IN THE BACK GARDEN.

TONY
That is mad!

KEN LOOKS ON THE VERGE OF TEARS AS HE SLUMPS INTO HIS CHAIR.

KEN
I suppose it had to come out eventually...

TONY
It must have flew across when they were taking the photo.

KEN
What? Oh, yes! Yes, that's it! That's exactly it! A flying chicken just flying over my house... at the exact moment that photo was taken. That's why it looks so bloody huge!

TONY
Mad.

TONY HEADS OFF FOR A COFFEE. KEN BREATHES A HUGE SIGH OF RELIEF.

KEN GOES INTO HIS DRAWER AND TAKES OUT HIS LUNCH – A SLICE OF BOILED EGG WRAPPED IN CLING FILM. IT'S ABOUT THE SIZE OF A CAR TYRE.

END

That is absolutely brilliant.

I love it, one of the best sketches I've read on BSG.

Was surprising, funny and had a good twist to the resolution.

The idea of seeing something absurd and embarrassing in someone's garden is a great idea, but not a giant chicken. Something else, not a chicken. It reminds me of Alan Partridge as well.

Lord help me, it aint clever, but you just set off the LOLocaust.

ridiculous - chickens can't fly....can they?

Quote: Godot Taxis @ July 11 2008, 3:04 AM BST

The idea of seeing something absurd and embarrassing in someone's garden is a great idea, but not a giant chicken. Something else, not a chicken. It reminds me of Alan Partridge as well.

View original

agree - good idea, spoilt by large chicken.

That is very, very, funny, and a rarely original skit.

If that doesn't get made somewhere, some time, then it's a tragedy.

A lovely joke with a great prop punchline, and technically very well written (damn it's lean)

If that didn't make you laugh, maybe try British Soap Opera Guide

Actually you do something I really like, you subvedrt expectation

"come out eventually..."

your reader is expecting a long funny explanation about how this guy got a giant chicken.

But no, bang your into the other guy dropping the subject, and the giant egg punchline.

It's that level of surprise that really makes it a killer.

I add to the general applause.

And me.... real laugh out loud action going on... a "belly rumbler" as I say in my world.

Great sketch. Re the debate about the chicken, I liked it, and that surprised me, keep it in IMO

I thought his was shaping up to be a humdrum embarrassment sketch, then a bloody great chicken swung into view. Inspired.

Well, I thought it was shite.

Nah, only kidding. Do whatever you can to get this made.

Thanks for reading and the comments, guys. I did wonder about using a chicken - whether it was a bit too willfully "whacky" (willful whackiness is something I hate) - but in the end I thought what the hell. I'm glad reaction seems generally positive.

Thanks again.

Bo.

Lovely. Send it to Mitchell & Webb dammit!

Good one. I imagine him harbouring the boiled egg in his desk and taking it out secretly, like a scene from Schindler's List.