JIM IS GOING TO HIS SCHOOL REUNION WITH HIS GIRL FRIEND JEN
JIM
You don’t understand he made my life a misery, that Pete. He said my mum died cos our cat scratched her, and gave her AIDS. And I gave it AIDS.
JEN
You were kids.
JIM
He pulled my pants down in gym, and called me twinkle dinkle. I was in therapy for 6 years over that, I still have flash backs.
JEN
You were young then. And now look at you a bank manager, a black belt in Judo, and going out with the most beautiful girl in Swindon.
JIM
You’re right these are good times, oh is that Pete (beat) in the wheel chair?
HE RUNS UP PETE IS IN A WHEEL CHAIR AT THE STEPS TO THE SCHOOL HE IS LOOKING VERY ILL.
PETE
Is that you Jim?
JIM
Yes it’s me, you don’t look so good.
PETE
It isn’t I’ve got a about 6 months, but with this amount of pain it’ll be a blessed relief. I wish they’d hurry up with the ramp.
JIM
It’s a shame, but lifes been good to me. I’ve been enjoying alot of stuff, like climbing up stairs.
HE PRACTISES RUNNING UP AND DOWN THE STEPS.
JIM
Boy, you never get tired of that. Oh your tartan blanket is getting soaked, I’ll just take that.
HE SNATCHES HIS BLANKET AND RUNS IN THE SCHOOL WITH IT.
PETE
But it’s so cold.
SCENE2
PETE IS TALKING TO ANOTHER PUPIL.
PETE
It’s the colostomy that’s the worst thing, it’s so humiliating, oh why is it hurting?
JIM IS STANDING BEHIND HIM SQUEEZING HIS COLOSTOMY.
SCENE3
PETE IS TALKING TO ANOTHER PUPIL
PETE
I haven’t been able to swallow food for a year now, I have to have a nutritional porridge pumped straight into my stomach. I’m ok as long as it doesn’t come to fast.
PORRIDGE DRIPS OUT OF PETE’S MOUTH AND NOSE, WE SEE JIM BEHIND HIM FIDDLING WITH HIS FOOD PUMP.
SCENE4
JIM IS STANDING BY THE REFRESHMENTS, PETE WHEELS UPTO HIM.
PETE
I know why you’ve done what you did to me tonight. I treated you so bad as a kid, please forgive me. I think I may just have the energy to hug you.
JIM
Oh alright.
PETE
Help me up.
JIM HUGS PETE, AND LIFTS HIM OUT OF HIS CHAIR.
PETE SUDDENLY YANKS JIMS TROUSERS, AND PANTS DOWN.
PETE
Ha, ha twinkle dinkle. I may only have 6 months to live, but the jokes on you.
EVERY ONE LAUGHS.
JIM
No Pete this time it isn’t.
JIM DRAWS A LARGE KNIFE AND STABS PETE MULTIPLE TIMES, HE SINKS TO THE FLOOR.
THE PARTY HAS GONE SILENT.
JEN RUNS OVER, AND CRADLES PETE.
JEN
Oh my God what have you done you’ve killed him, horribly (beat) well done.
EVERY ONE CHEERS JIM THROWS HIS ARMS IN THE AIR IN A VICTORY SALUTE.
GRAMS
Don’t you forget about me.
