GCSE

A WOMAN (MRS SMITH), AND HER SON (TIM), ARE TALKING TO A HEAD MASTER(HEAD)

MRS SMITH
I’d like to make a complaint. Why did my Tim get a D in his GCSE Religious Studies?

HEAD
Mrs Smith it has come to my attention over the past year. That certain GCSE’s are being chosen by some of our lazier pupils on account of them being very easy to pass. The usual; general studies, cookery, and religious studies. Specifically the religious studies GCSE in fundamentalist Islam.

MRS SMITH
I don’t know what you’re talking about. Sounds ruddy difficult, all that Arabic, and Khoranic study and stuff.

HEAD
Yes Mrs Smith it is indeed a challenging course of study. Except the practical exam makes up 90% of the pass grade, and Tim abjectly failed it.

MRS SMITH
Can he not get a remark or something?

HEAD
Mrs Smith, the practical is to walk into a crowded shop wearing a suicide belt, utter the words "Allah Aqubar," and then blow one’s self up. If Master Timothy is sitting there large as life, and not spread all over the town centre then that is a most definite fail.

MRS SMITH
But he’s got ADHD, and dyslexia, and, and he’s gay probably.

HEAD
Oh well that’s a different story altogether, I am so sorry. We’ll resit the exam tomorrow, with a classroom assistant to blow young Tim up by remote control.

TIM
It’s not fair I wanted to do cookery.

HEAD
Now Tim you know that’s not on. All the health and safety issues.

It's well written but I hate the concept. I'm sure you must realise that it could never get commissioned?

Imagine for a moment that the exam was 'diversity studies' and the child had to, for his practical, go round mugging people to find out what it's like being black. I'm sure you see the issue.

The kid probably is gay, though.

Thanks, I think I wrote it for the stage that cheery pit of infamy.

Glad you liked how it was writen.

NP, hope you don't think I'm being over-sensitive, or worse still, politically correct. I genuinely think suicide bombers are intrinsically funny, but you have to be very careful about giving the impression that you think all muslims are terrorists.

Fair point, may for the future make it an even more specific GCSE

Quote: sootyj @ July 8 2008, 12:13 AM BST

MRS SMITH
But he’s got ADHD, and dyslexia, and, and he’s gay probably.

HEAD
Oh well that’s a different story altogether, I am so sorry. We’ll resit the exam tomorrow, with a classroom assistant to blow young Tim up by remote control.

View original

This was the bit I liked. The fact that he had a 'label' meant he could get whatever he wanted.

Def.

Oh dear I am going abit daily mail of late, I think I'm getting a bit right wing, thinking that nice Mr Cameron isn't all bad.

Is this how a socialist gets turned to the dark side?