It's not big and it's not clever 
A question about ****ing swearing Page 3
Quote: Winterlight @ July 7 2008, 8:09 AM BSTGod bless Ian McShane.
Too right. First episode I tuned into I was all like, "Dude, did Lovejoy just kick that hooker in the stomach?"
Jonathan, you could try writing it with the swearing in to start with and see how it feels. Perhaps give it to a trusted reader(s) to see what they think? You can always take it out if it gets a thumbs down or if you change your mind.
Def.
I just wrote a sitcom where I tried to get around the swearing thing by having one of the characters say "'kin' 'ell", instead of "f**kin' 'ell". It's something my Dad used to do all the time. However I think I've made a boob there. The script is meant to be family-oriented, and on the page "'Kin' 'ell" looks quite innocuous, but spoken by the performer will sound like he's just said "f**kin' 'ell".
So I don't know. I'm one of those people that thinks swearing is both big and clever and a well-placed "f**k" or "bell-end" can make a gag all the funnier. But it's very easy to over-egg the profanity-pudding in scripts and I'd hold back a bit if I were you.
Perhaps the most important thing to remember is that that Luke on Big Brother wouldn't like it.
kin ell is not family orientated. Easy guide - would you say it in front of your kids? In front of a woman you didnt know? In fact...would you say it anywhere other than with people you know who don't mind swearing?
Quote: Pete @ July 7 2008, 1:04 PM BSTkin ell is not family orientated. Easy guide - would you say it in front of your kids? In front of a woman you didnt know? In fact...would you say it anywhere other than with people you know who don't mind swearing?
Well exactly. I think I was maybe desensitized to it because my Dad said it loads. So as I say, I think I made a mistake there. But it's easily-rectifiable.
Quote: Perry Nium @ July 7 2008, 1:54 PM BSTWell exactly. I think I was maybe desensitized to it because my Dad said it loads.
I'm not surprised... if my kids ran into my room in the middle of the night yelling about monsters i'd tell them to f**k off 
Quote: Pete @ July 7 2008, 2:24 PM BSTI'm not surprised... if my kids ran into my room in the middle of the night yelling about monsters i'd tell them to f**k off
'Pete proudly displays his sharply-honed parenting skills.'
Parenting advice from the family with the verbally abusive father and the hallucinating children What next, Johnny Vegas to attack my dumb bell curl technique
I'm just wondering if every post I subsequently make will have yet another comment from Pete referencing my scary experience as a child. 
Stranger things have happened.....no, must resist, too easy
I've written a sitcom pilot (https://www.comedy.co.uk/forums/thread/7913) in which the main character swears a great deal, and it's because that's how he speaks in my head. The rhythm just seems off without the effing. But swearing isn't really a good thing to have in your spec scripts, so now I'm wondering what to do about it.
It's a single-camera thing (yeah, great time to be pimping one of those...) but the tone is quite silly, so I'm wondering if I could replace each "f**k" with "jeff" - it'd be like a play on "effing and jeffing", and maybe I could have an in-story explanation for the constant taking of Jeff's name in vain, like he's an old archenemy or something.
Good idea, or sheer jeffing lunacy?
Quote: Perry Nium @ July 7 2008, 12:42 PM BSTI just wrote a sitcom where I tried to get around the swearing thing by having one of the characters say "'kin' 'ell", instead of "f**kin' 'ell". It's something my Dad used to do all the time. However I think I've made a boob there. The script is meant to be family-oriented, and on the page "'Kin' 'ell" looks quite innocuous, but spoken by the performer will sound like he's just said "f**kin' 'ell".
So I don't know. I'm one of those people that thinks swearing is both big and clever and a well-placed "f**k" or "bell-end" can make a gag all the funnier. But it's very easy to over-egg the profanity-pudding in scripts and I'd hold back a bit if I were you.
I say 'kin ell' a lot too. But, it's still swearing really, isn't it?
I would say it in front a child, a lady or a homosexual, that's for sure.
Just say in it front of a 10 year old lesbian, save time.