British Comedy Guide

Vigilance. Page 5

Quote: Griff @ July 2 2008, 5:00 PM BST

No. It said he was pole-axed by a punch. They even put "pole-axed" in helpful inverted quotes to indicate it was being used metaphorically. I know it's unusual to see a metaphor in local newspapers, but there you are.

Ohhh right, I think I understand what you/they mean now. What with being a polite middle-class kid, I've never heard of this pole-axe malarkey before.

Quote: DaButt @ July 2 2008, 5:01 PM BST

Choosing to kill someone before he kills you seems like a healthy choice to me.

Seems like a retrogressive, medieval, and generally backwards one to me.

Quote: zooo @ July 2 2008, 5:01 PM BST

Where was that thing I read about a man in America who shot a kid for wearing baggy jeans and 'looking like' a criminal...?

There were loads of comments after the news story agreeing with him for doing it. Get 'em early, before they rob us! etc.

Awesome.

Certainly one way of describing it!

Quote: zooo @ July 2 2008, 4:57 PM BST

That's a bloody good point actually!
You would have to keep it somewhere completely unsafe. You can't just say 'hold on there burglar, just let me find the key in its hiding place and let me unlock my gun from the safe'.

As far as I know, every state has very strict laws on gun safety and storage - especially around children. There are some very clever security devices which still allow for easy access. A friend owns a handgun which can only be fired by a person wearing a special ring on his finger.

Quote: zooo @ July 2 2008, 4:57 PM BST

I don't think that someone who commits the crime of stealing deserves to die. You clearly do.

I would never sentence a thief to death. But until I can read minds I'll assume that the guy who kicks down my door is planning to cause harm to my family and I wouldn't hesitate to shoot him.

Quote: Griff @ July 2 2008, 5:02 PM BST

You can buy a Taser in the States with an MP3 player in it.

Really.

http://www.podcastingnews.com/2008/01/09/tase-bro-mp3-player-bad-idea/

LOL. Classy! :D

F**k yeah! Rolling eyes :)

Quote: sootyj @ July 2 2008, 5:03 PM BST

In alot of countries they do. This isn't a pipe dream, it's reality in a lot of countries.

In a lot of countries with totally different and often largely incompatible societies to ours!

Quote: sootyj @ July 2 2008, 5:03 PM BST

n.b. you'd lock people up for having faith, does that include George Micheal and the Pope?

Aside from your awful pun, yes, I'm all for locking up the Pope.

Quote: Griff @ July 2 2008, 5:05 PM BST

Well they have pretty stiff sentences in the States - THE DEATH PENALTY FOR EXAMPLE - and that hasn't deterred criminals much.

Well that's a wholllllllle different argument altogether. Nothing's perfect though. Has to be a mixture of different approaches, not just harsher sentences.

Quote: zooo @ July 2 2008, 5:02 PM BST

You sound so stereotypically American!
Bless you.

Replace "American" with "Human" and you'll be closer to the truth. Can you honestly tell me that if a murderer whipped out a knife and said, "I'm going to kill (insert loved one's name here) in 5 seconds" that you wouldn't want to kill him first? Seems like the most primal survival instinct of all, doesn't it?

Quote: DaButt @ July 2 2008, 5:16 PM BST

Replace "American" with "Human" and you'll be closer to the truth. Can you honestly tell me that if a murderer whipped out a knife and said, "I'm going to kill (insert loved one's name here) in 5 seconds" that you wouldn't want to kill him first? Seems like the most primal survival instinct of all, doesn't it?

What is he, a James Bond villain?

Quote: DaButt @ July 2 2008, 5:16 PM BST

Replace "American" with "Human" and you'll be closer to the truth. Can you honestly tell me that if a murderer whipped out a knife and said, "I'm going to kill (insert loved one's name here) in 5 seconds" that you wouldn't want to kill him first?

Although the question wasn't directed at me, I can honestly say that, yes. I wouldn't want to lower myself to the level of the criminal. I'd want to be able to disarm or stop him in some way that would allow for the correct judicial procedures to occur. Not to outright kill him. Or indeed her.

Quote: ian_w @ July 2 2008, 5:18 PM BST

What is he, a James Bond villain?

Laughing out loud

Quote: Aaron @ July 2 2008, 5:22 PM BST

Although the question wasn't directed at me, I can honestly say that, yes. I wouldn't want to lower myself to the level of the criminal. I'd want to be able to disarm or stop him in some way that would allow for the correct judicial procedures to occur. Not to outright kill him. Or indeed her.

Laughing out loud

The power of a well crafted joke here can be invaluable. Get the assailant on your side with the universal language of comedy and bring the barriers down. Although try to keep it in general terms rather than humorous observations on the size of his nose or ears or the baldness of his head etc.

Quote: Aaron @ July 2 2008, 5:22 PM BST

Although the question wasn't directed at me, I can honestly say that, yes. I wouldn't want to lower myself to the level of the criminal. I'd want to be able to disarm or stop him in some way that would allow for the correct judicial procedures to occur. Not to outright kill him. Or indeed her.

I'd prefer it if my intended assailant changed his mind and decided to give me a foot massage and a new iPod instead, but I don't think a life-or-death situation allows much room for such creative thinking. I'd certainly use my kung fu super powers to snatch the knife out of his hand or, if I were Keanu, I'd just dodge the assailant's bullets, but I'm a mere mortal and I'd prefer something a little more practical to increase the odds of my survival.

If there was a weapon that would knock him unconscious immediately, would you prefer to use that, or is it guns all the way?

ie, do you want to stop him, or punish him?

Quote: zooo @ July 2 2008, 5:36 PM BST

If there was a weapon that would knock him unconscious immediately, would you prefer to use that, or is it guns all the way?

ie, do you want to stop him, or punish him?

I'm absolutely nonviolent, so I'd happily knock him/her unconscious. Punishment is for judge and jury, I just want to protect myself from harm.

Well, that I can get more on board with.

Quote: DaButt @ July 2 2008, 5:35 PM BST

I'd prefer it if my intended assailant changed his mind and decided to give me a foot massage and a new iPod instead, but I don't think a life-or-death situation allows much room for such creative thinking. I'd certainly use my kung fu super powers to snatch the knife out of his hand or, if I were Keanu, I'd just dodge the assailant's bullets, but I'm a mere mortal and I'd prefer something a little more practical to increase the odds of my survival.

You'd settle for a foot massage?

Make my day, or a camomile tea?

You do realise you are describing the gayest Deathwish film ever.

And we Brits managed to go around armed up until the 1880s when guns were first controlled, due to fear of the IRA.

Don't see why we can't go back there.

Up until the 1930s Police in London had the choice to carry revolvers if they wanted. They were very small, and were called comforters or warmers.

The idea we'll go berzerk and start gunning people down randomly is a bit silly.

So is the idea of allowing every last person access to a firearm.

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