British Comedy Guide

Baby Food

INT. TASTING ROOM – DAY

A GROUP OF WOMEN ARE SAMPLING BABY FOOD FROM SMALL JARS. A COMPANY REPRESENTATIVE HOLDING A CLIPBOARD GAUGES THEIR REACTIONS.

REP
So that's new apple and blueberry flavour. What do we think of that? Is it something we'd be happy to give our little ones?

MOTHER #1
Mmm, it's nice - quite sweet.

MOTHER #2
How much sugar is in this? I don't like to give my kids too much sugar.

REP
Let me put your mind at rest there – there is absolutely no added sugar in this new range of baby foods.

MOTHER #2
What are the ingredients?

THE REP CONSULTS HIS CLIPBOARD

REP
Let's see – apple and blueberries, obviously... water, arsenic, cinnamon...

MOTHER #2
Sorry, what?

REP
Cinnamon. Just a tiny pinch. We find it really enhances the apple flavour.

MOTHER #2
No, before that.

REP
Water?

MOTHER #1
It sounded like arsenic.

REP
What? No, no, no, no... oh, wait yes, you're quite right.

MOTHER #2
You put arsenic in your baby food?

REP
Ooh... are we not loving the arsenic?

THE MOTHERS MUTTER THEIR DISAPPROVAL

REP
Interesting... interesting...

THE REP MAKES A NOTE

REP
Is it the amount of arsenic? If we reduced the amount of arsenic by, say, ten percent... would you be more or less inclined to give it to your little cherubs, do you think?

THE MOTHERS LOOK UNCONVINCED

REP
Perhaps if it was clearly labelled - "Now with ten percent less arsenic"?

THE MOTHERS TAKE A MOMENT TO CONSIDER.

MOTHER #1
I suppose less arsenic in baby food can only be a good thing.

MOTHER #2
And it does have cinnamon.

THE MOTHERS MURMER THEIR AGREEMENT. THE REP TURNS TO THE TWO-WAY MIRROR AND MAKES A THUMBS UP.

CUT TO –

INT. OBSERVATION ROOM – DAY

IN A DARKENED OBSERVATION ROOM WE SEE A BABY IN A HIGH CHAIR WATCHING THE MOTHERS.

THERE IS A STING OF SINISTER MUSIC AS THE BABY GURGLES/LAUGHS.

BABY
(SUBTITLED) Excellent! Mwah, hah, hah, hah!

END

Some nice writing, I enjoyed the build up but the ending left me cold. Either I just dont get it or its just not funny. Why is a baby wanting arsenic in baby food?

I get the whole Stewie from Family Guy wanting to take over the world vibe, I think this is the route it was going. I like it.

Quote: Skoodle @ July 2 2008, 1:37 PM BST

I get the whole Stewie from Family Guy wanting to take over the world vibe, I think this is the route it was going. I like it.

Bingo!

Thanks for the comments,

Bo.

This was very amusing.

Great sketch, it would be better without the cut scene at the end though - it doesn't come across as as funny as the rest of it - better to end it on a high.

Yes, i have to agree, a nicely written sketch but the ending didn't make any sense to me.

I really liked this. I think you could spend a bit longer on the mums really talking themselves round to the less arsenic idea, and it doesn't need the baffling cutaway at the end.

Thanks all. It hadn't even crossed my mind that the ending would cause confusion. I guess I'll have to take another look at it.

Bo.

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