Before computers were invented

RE-EDITED TO REMOVE CREAKY MOUSE JOKE

1. INT. Bare office. Three geeky men. Two of them are dressed as ALIEN MONSTERS. The third, KEN, has a water pistol.

The MONSTERS are walking back and forth across the room saying "Beep, Beep" in a rhythmic way, while KEN shoots at them. Every time he shoots he shouts "Pow!"

CAP: Balham, 1963

FX. A phone rings. Old-fashioned bell.

KEN looks round in surprise. Picks up phone

KEN (to phone)
I.T. (beat) On my way.

CUT TO:

2. INT. Office. Oppressive. Cold lighting. KEN is sitting at desk in front of typewriter. WOMAN stands behind him, playing with her hair, and being a bit rubbish about technology.

KEN
What's wrong with it?

WOMAN
I don't know. It won't work.

KEN
Yes, but what happened?

WOMAN
I was typing a document, and it just locked up.

KEN tuts. Looks carefully at typewriter. Hits a key.

Then a look of triumph on KEN'S face. He picks up the typewriter and kicks it hard.

KEN
Should be all right now.

WOMAN
What was wrong with it?

KEN
I just had to boot it.

CUT TO:

3. INT. Back in IT office. Same Space Invaders game as before.

A FOURTH MAN, dressed as a FLYING SAUCER, runs from left to right, shouting "wacka-wacka-wacka", behind the aliens.

END.

Very nice, in a groansome kinda way

Heh heh.

This could be a good start to a series of sketches.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VczbbiRmDik&feature=related http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ywqu_8RIDvU&feature=related

They are astonishingly brilliant. Cheers, soot.

Using a real mouse in a sketch on PC's - Graham, I assume you're over 50? (my mum also does this gag so you're not alone!)

Cheeky article. Your mum sounds great. How did she end up with you?

Kind of agree that the mouse is a bit over-familiar, but type-writers did used to lock if you typed too fast (that is why the QWERTY keyboard is so un-user friendly, it is actually intended to slow you down), so you could maybe use that.

The opening scene is too far over the top, so you have a de-escalation, which is best to avoid. Maybe just tone it down a bit, maybe have a co-worker wearing deely bopers bobbing up and down behind his desk as ken shoots at him with the water pistol.

I've removed the creaky mouse joke, but I'm inclined to keep the Space Invaders scene and split it in two.

I do actually remember manual typewriters, although I am not as old as Pete suggests.

49?

Nothing wrong with an old gag, the warm guffaw of familiarity is a perfectly valid laugh.

Go all the way, sprays type writer with Raid (to get rid of bugs).
Pours Benylin in, and wraps it in a blanket (it's got a virus).
The sheet of paper is made of ice (my screen has frozen)
Some poor sod has an apple (a piece of fruit), it's compatible with nothing.
They have those vacume tubes, one is very wide (it's broadband)
Some one gets fired, he has a sheet of paper with a picture of a nude woman made out of xs and os (downloading porn)
Some one sneaks around putting flyers for processed meats in all the intrays (spam)
Some one borrows the office laptop (a pen and pad)
And the office mobile, a town cryer.

Like sootyj's ideas, very good. Also Timbo - subtle is good.

How old are you GB - I thought 62.

I'm thirty-bastard-six. Now bugger off, the lot of you.

Yes. I like the re-write.