British Comedy Guide

Who are the wittiest band of all time? Page 3

Half Man half Biscuit (again) Zappa (again) and of course Morrissey.

The kind people
have a wonderful dream
Margaret on the guillotine
because people like you
make me feel so tired
when will you die?
when will you die?
when will you die?
when will you die?
when will you die?
because people like you
make me feel so old inside
please die

Children shelled
"...Children
shelled ? That's
all
Very well, but would you
Please keep the noise
Down low ?
Because you're waking
The lazy sunbathers ..."

You're the one for me fatty
please say
If I get in your way

hands down, it's Skyclad and their ex-frontman Martin Walkyier

http://www.darklyrics.com/lyrics/skyclad/princeofthepovertyline.html

Youth of our nation - A lost generation
Like lepers we march to the chimes of Big Ben.
Exiled and rejected by powers elected
Our cries from the gutter don't reach number ten.
Give us this day our daily bread
Before the headlines read "bring out your dead."
Chip-wrapper flowers are blown onto this cardboard grave
My spray paint epitaph upon the wall it says...
"Here lies the bones of some poor homeless vagrant
He died as he lived, in the shit on the pavement."

Election day promises now null and void
They'll never rest 'til we're all unemployed
UB40's a book that you'll find very hard to put down
The dormant machinery screams - taunting the skies
Ghosts of the Halcyon dream sustaining our lives

and one of my favourites, "Penny Dreadful":

Forgive me if I'm out of order -
this new "music" has no soul.
It may be good for making money,
(sadly that is not my goal).

Integrity and honesty are words that you don't understand,
but you're the best - it says so in the penny dreadful in your hand.

I saw you in the magazine,
they're calling you messiah.
They must be living in a dream -
they couldn't be more wrong.

If we'd played this riff more punk,
than may be we'd have had a million seller.
But this piper's tune is not for sale,
(I'm glad to say I'm not that kind of fella).

D.J.s, V.J.s, pimps and trollops,
never mind music - this is bollocks.

Painted faces in a circus - images that spring to mind,
when I read my penny dreadful filled with pictures of your kind.

Commercial suicide's appealing after
ten years on this losing streak.
'Cause I'd rather be called sour and bitter
then be deemed the flavour of the week.

...with songtitles like:
Thinking Allowed
The Ilk Of Human Blindness
Desperanto (A Song For Europe?)
History Lessens
The Great Brain Robbery
Think Back And Lie Of England

and my all time favourite:
Great Blow For A Day Job

Quote: Griff @ June 28 2008, 10:57 AM BST

No I mean John Shuttleworth. He was Jilted John for two years, John Shuttleworth for 20 years.

Yes - but he was Jilted John.

I can't really think of any "witty" bands. How do you mean?

We Are Scientists - are witty live.

They were very witty when they were interviewed on Glasto., and in two and a half weeks or so I will know if they are live for sure. :D

I'd have to go for the Bonzos.

Viv Stanshall was one of the wittiest front men of all time IMO and the band were superb. V witty indeed!

Quote: David Chapman @ June 28 2008, 1:42 AM BST

Or Alberto y lost trios Paranoias.

Great call Chappers, I assume you witnessed their stage entry?

One the same theme, Supercharge were excellent.

I highly recommend a listen to "She moved the dishes first" for those who've never heard them before.

Might have been said. Don't care. Jarvis Cocker. Good lad.

This song/video is pretty funny: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mqNgAlMLjhk&NR=1

Frank Zappa did have a band called The Mothers Of Invention so that does count. Speaks for itself really.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BrQi66kxd-I

Great finale!

My favorite are of a song by my favorite band Propagandhi who wrote a song called "Resisting Tyrannical Government" that I always loved. It's a hockey analogy of sorts. To get it Oilers and Flames are two hockey teams in the NHL. Best of 7 series is how the finals are determined between the two winners of the east and west conferences. Anyways I've always loved these lyrics:

We're the Oilers. The World Bank- the Flames!
And just 2 minutes remain in the 7th game of the best of 7 series!
Yeah, Jesus saves! Gretzky scores! The workers slave.
The rich get more. One wrong move and we risk the cup.
So play The Man, not the puck.

So what they're saying, basically, is - we need communism.

And if Canadians are saying that, it must be wrong.

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