British Comedy Guide

Music therapy

A MAN (PAT) IS GOING TO SEE A THERAPIST (BOB), BOB HAS A BIG YAMAHA KEYBOARD (HE SINGS, AND PLAYS ALL HIS ANSWERS IN A LIGHT ENTERTAINMENT STYLEE)

PAT

I wasn't sure about therapy, I'm a bit shy. But my friend said, that music therapy, was a gentler way of expressing my self.

LONG PAUSE.

Ok I'll start, I find I'm crying all the time.

ROB

I know all there is to know about the crying game
Ive had my share of the crying game

PAT

It's just I don't know how to stop, I feel so sad.

ROB

Dont want no more of the crying game
Dont want no more of the crying game

PAT

Ok, that's a bit harsh. I think my dad sexually abused me, I surpressed it, I was younger than 5.

ROB

Kisses for me
save all your kisses for me.
Bye bye
baby bye bye. Don't cry honey
don't cry.
Won't you save them for me

even though you're only three.

PAT

I don't no why I'm telling you this, you're horrible. I mean it gave me an Oedipuse complex, and she was so disgusted she stopped talking to me.

ROB

Mother, you had me but I never had you,
I wanted you but you didn't want me,
So I got to tell you,
Goodbye, goodbye.
Farther, you left me but I never left you,
I needed you but you didn't need me,

PAT

You're horrible, but I'm desperate what should I do?

ROB

kill yer parents / burn their bodies

bury the ashes / find out what you want

PAT

Thanks, it's also clear now. I'll do it, thanks, and I'll tell every one you showed me the way.

PAT PULLS OUT AN ENORMOUS KNIFE AND LEAVES THE ROOM.

ROB

there may be trouble ahead,
but while theres moonlight and music and love and romance,
let's face the music and dance.

The songs will drag, be better if they could be down to one liners....and Oedipuse complex (sp) are you serious? Putting terms in a sketch that so few people will know will just kill the flow.

Arron Sorkin used to say of the West Wing...people wont understand all of it but it sounds good - that works on a political drama over 45mins played to an intelligent audience.....not in a 30 sec sketch played to people that laugh at shagging 3 year olds!

Also, free tip - get Google spell check, it takes 10 secs to correct anything you post and would have dealt with numerous spelling and grammatical errors in your post.

Quote: Pete @ June 29 2008, 11:33 AM BST

Oedipuse complex.

The pot. The kettle. The blackness.

how so? you think it's a good word for the sketch?

I think enough people will know what an Oedipus complex is (hell, if Bill and Ted can mention it, anyone can). Sketches shouldn't be dumbed down too often or you might as well just write Beau Peep strips for the Daily Star.

I quite like the idea of this sketch, I think it needs some work but it's a good idea. I think it needs to be punchier in some way, either with songs that get the meaning across a lot quicker or perhaps if the music he is playing while giving advice gets the same message across.

I'm not sure what I'm trying to say but I think this sketch is a keeper if you can twiddle about with it a bit to make it a really killer sketch.

Yuh it's booked for surgery tonight.

The song clips are way to long, and the patient is to verbose.

Thanks for that.

Mind you making the paedo reference so blunt is probably a bit OTT.

I may make it more hidden, and sinister, some very tea time comics have made jokes about sitting on uncles knee.

Quote: sootyj @ June 29 2008, 10:54 AM BST

A MAN (PAT) IS GOING TO SEE A THERAPIST (BOB), BOB HAS A BIG YAMAHA KEYBOARD (HE SINGS, AND PLAYS ALL HIS ANSWERS IN A LIGHT ENTERTAINMENT STYLEE)

PAT

Be gentle this is my first time with music therapy.

LONG PAUSE.

Ok I'll start, I cry all the time.

ROB

I know all there is to know about the crying game
Ive had my share of the crying game

PAT

I don't know how to stop, I feel so sad.

ROB

Dont want no more of the crying game
Dont want no more of the crying game

PAT

You'r being mine. When I was little my dad would give me a lolly for sitting on his knee.

ROB

save all your kisses for me.
Bye bye
baby bye bye. Don't cry honey
don't cry.
Won't you save them for me

even though you're only three.

PAT

You're horrible. My mum, was so nice to me I, I, I ended up fancying her. She read my diary, and stopped speaking to me.

ROB

Mother, you had me but I never had you,
I wanted you but you didn't want me,

PAT

Oh you're a beast, but I'm so lost, what should I do Dr?

ROB

kill yer parents / then kill yourself

PAT

Thanks, thats actually good advice. I'll do it and I'll tell every one you showed me the way.

PAT PULLS OUT AN ENORMOUS KNIFE AND LEAVES THE ROOM.

ROB

there may be trouble ahead,
but while theres moonlight and music and love and romance,
let's face the music and dance.

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