I admit this is a bit weak, but I wanted to see if the basic idea had legs.
GRAMS THE ROYAL FAMILY
PHIL, CAMILLA, AND THE QUEEN ARE EATING CHIPS
PHIL
Fancy another mug of Krug, my sweet.
QUEEN
Phil, we're down to our last £320,000,000, and that tight fisted, Lying Scotsman is holding out on my £40,000,000.
PHIL
It is Tesco value Krug, and we've got plenty of Corgis, to eat still.
CAMILLA
I'm 93 don't you know.
QUEEN
Shut up Camilla.
CHARLES ENTERS
Well mummy, I'm saving money. I only travel by train.
PHIL
You blithering idiot, it's no saving if it's your own private train.
QUEEN
And I can't even afford a TV licence. Nothing to watch but the changing of the guard.