Hancock and the Postman

Just a quick idea I've come up with. Very rushed, but feedback extremely welcome, positive or negative. Basically if you haven't watched Hancock or Hancock's Half Hour you probably won't get it.

John is seen buying the complete 'Hancock' on amazon.

John: So it's Friday now, should be hear for Monday.
Monday-Thursday, John waits for the post and the DVD hasn't arrived

Friday Morning
John: It must be hear today.

The post comes through the door, it isn't there
John: Right, I'm having a word with the Postman
(He goes out)
John: Postie!

Postman: Stone me, you nearly gave me a heart-attack

John: There's no parcel for me in that sack is there

Postman: No there isn't mate

John: Are you sure?

Postman: Certainly

John: Will you look in your sack then?

Postman: That sack. That's very nearly an armful

John: (Suspiciously) What do you mean nearly an armful?

Postman: Nothing.

(The Postman runs off)

Obviously needs polishing, but what do you think of the idea? Feedback extremely welcome, positive or negative.

I know about the famous Hancock line about giving blood, but I don't see how comparing a sack with an 'armful' makes any sense.

I like the idea, I can see it working, but it needs work. Either change the Hancock reference or perhaps substitute with a different dvd/book entirely.

I can certainly see where you could go with this, could be a runner. Keep ordering stuff from the internet only for the postie to steal it and be humming the theme tune as he passes your house or something. I think that's a strong idea.

Good idea, I liked it. Thieving postie has nicked the dvds. You could tweak the dialogue a bit, something like this.

John: My parcel could be in there. It's a big sack.

Postman: Yes, it is, it's very nearly an armful. But there's no parcel for you today.

Thanks alot. It was just a rough lay-out, I'll be doing a bit on it each night then I will come up with my final draft.

It's ok, but would work better in my view, with lots of puns in rapid succession.

I've decided against the Hancock idea, so here is the sketch now

Dave is seen buying the complete Dads Army on amazon.

Dave: So, it's Friday now, should be hear by Monday

(Monday to Thursday Dave is seen waiting for the post and no parcel arrives either day)

(Friday. Dave is seen waiting at the letterbox)

Dave: It must be hear today.

(No parcel comes through the letterbox)

Dave: Right, I'm having a word with the Postie. Postie!!!
Postie: You stupid boy, you nearly gave me a heart-attack then.
Dave: Sorry, is there a parcel for me today?
Postie: Permission to speak Sir, I'm afraid there's not
Dave: Oh bloody hell (Dave lights a cigarette)
Postie: What are you doing you ruddy holligan. Put that light out, put that ruddy light out
Dave: I'm going to ring the Post-office
Postie: Do you think that's wise Sir
Dave: Yes I do
(Dave gets his phone out)
Dave: Hello, is that the Post-Office. Are you the receptionist? Right lets get down to business. Excuse me, why do you have to turn my statement lets get down to business into a dirty sexual pun. I'll report you to your boss. What's your name
(The Postie grabs the phone off Dave)
Postie: Don't tell him Pike
Dave: Pike, thankyou. Now what am I going to do about my parcel
Postie: You're doomed Sir, doomed. Anyway Sir do you mind if I be excused.
(The Postie walks off whistling Who do you think you are kidding Mr Hitler?)

So what do you think of this updated version. Feedback very welcome, positive or negative.

Excellent. Very funny, and very snappy.

I personally would give a twist punchline, may the post man calls him a Nerk or summat.

Otherwise very nice.

Thanks very much.

BRILLIANT!

Nearly gave the Mrs a heart attack when I laughed out loud at the KILLER 'Don't tell him Pike' line! - Which is where it should have ended (leave 'em wanting more).
_______________________________________________________________________________

POSTIE GRABS PHONE OFF DAVE

Postie: Don't tell him Pike!

THE POSTIE THRUSTS PHONE BACK AT DAVE AND JAUNTILY MARCHES OFF WHISTLING,
"WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE KIDDING MR HITLER?
_______________________________________________________________________________

Ignore my suggestion - I don't care. It's one of the funniest ORIGINAL sketches I've read or seen for a long time (first to make me laugh out loud on here!).

Thankyou Morrace. Really glad you liked it.

Yes, much better than the original. Good.

I liked both sketches. I was a big Hancock fan and saw his Hancock's Half Hour stuff first time around. Same with Dad's Army.

Good stuff mate!

I must admit that I don't mind 'rough and ready' versions of sketches. I look at them with the eye of a pretend producer thinking what I could do with them after I get them out of the grip of the writer. I wonder if real producers do that?

Quote: Winterlight @ June 26 2008, 2:30 PM BST

I know about the famous Hancock line about giving blood, but I don't see how comparing a sack with an 'armful' makes any sense.

View original

I must admit Winter old chum that I thought that was the point of the line. That it didn't really quite make sense and hence the suspicion...

But hey ho, we all read 'em differently don't we!!

I'd end it on the Pike line too - that's the natural peak and the proper out-point.