Chess Tournament Sketch

This is a visual one. Do you think it’s too pedestrian?

Int. Chess Arena

Two men are sat on a stage at a table with a chess board. No pieces have been moved. Man 1 starts his clock, moves a pawn one square forwards and stops the clock. Man 2 starts his clock and stares intently at the board. He gets up and walks round the table, looking at the board from all angles - Man 1 watches him in bemusement. Man 2 sits back down, looks at the board, runs his fingers through his hair and shakes his head. He stands up and puts his hand out for Man 1 to shake. They shake hands and Man 2 walks off stage shaking his head. Man 1 looks perplexed.

ENDS

It's either too simple for me, or I'm to simple for it.

I think it's pretty funny.

Quite like this, very surreal. I’d have finished it with man 2 running back on stage and smashing the table in two with a sledgehammer (it would obviously loose its subtlety) but I think it’s great as it is.

Honestly, it didn't make me laugh. Maybe if there were thousands of spectators and he didn't even move his piece before he walked off it might be funny.

Also, as I read it, this bit confused me:

"Man 1 watches him in bemusement. He sits back down, looks at the board, runs his fingers through his hair and shakes his head."

Caused me to think it was Man 1 getting up and leaving the stage.

I envisaged lots of swearing in Russian but, as a chess player, I did find it funny. These Russian grandmasters are meant to think 10 moves ahead so the paranoia of not being able to counter a simple pawn move was amusing.

Man 2 doesn't move his piece before he walks off! Good point about the confusion over who leaves though.

Quote: Winterlight @ June 23 2008, 8:38 PM BST

Man 2 doesn't move his piece before he walks off!

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No, I mean no one should move a piece. Just indicate that it's the turn of the man who leaves.

I can see this working, just as a side note, wouldn't Man 2 concede by knocking over his king before shaking hands?

Quote: David Bussell @ June 23 2008, 8:42 PM BST

No, I mean no one should move a piece. Just indicate that it's the turn of the man who leaves.

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On second thoughts, this suggestion is total guff. Of course he should move his piece. See, this is why forums and glue don't mix.

Well I liked it but I have to disagree with Writer2k's suggestion. I think smashing the board with a chair would be funnier than a sledgehammer.

Maybe all the pieces are glued to the board?

it's been done. sadly I can't remember who by or when (though I'm hoping it's at least 10 years ago - else my memory's getting really bad).

But I'm certain I've seen this sketch. It was quite funny, though so you've inadvertently reinvented a decent piece of comedy, which is certainly better than realising that your sketch project is actually a copy of Little Miss Jocelyn.

I liked this. Simple, visual. Man 1 could even look smug at the end rather than perplexed, as if he knows its his masterful moving of the pawn that's won the match.

Quote: Barbs @ June 25 2008, 12:28 AM BST

it's been done. sadly I can't remember who by or when (though I'm hoping it's at least 10 years ago - else my memory's getting really bad).

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Oh, it's potentially been done? I hate it when that happens!

I know there was a Fast Show sketch where two men are playing chess and after a move each, one of them looks up and says "Anyone fancy a pint?".