Two men are walking along idly discussing a recent cricket match.
JEREMY
So I bowled him a slightly faster one out side the off stump, edge through to the keeper next ball I gave the new guy my googly...
THE CAMERA ZOOMS IN ON HIS FOOT STANDING ON A CRACK IN THE PAVEMENT, ALBERT NOTICES THIS
JEREMY
Fair play to the gadger he saw it coming and hit me over the infield for four.
THE CAMERA AGAIN ZOOMS IN ON HIS FOOT, THIS TIME HE STANDS ON A SPIDER. ALBERT LOOKS UNCOMFORTABLE
JEREMY
The next over I was bowling to their captain, an ex county player. I gave him a half volley just outside the off stump he came down the track, hit the ball back at me like a bullet, never a chance to move.
AT THIS POINT TWO REMOVAL MEN EXIT FROM THE HOUSE THEY ARE WALKING PAST CARRYING A LARGE ORNAMENTAL MIRROR JEREMY KNOCKS INTO THEM, THE MIRROR FALLS AND SMASHES. ALBERT WINCES
JEREMY
Of course by this point the captain was getting bored of me so he took me off to let somebody else have a bowl.
ALBERT HAS NOTICED THAT UP AHEAD THERE IS A MAN UP A LADDER DOING SOME PAINTING SO HE STOPS JEREMY
ALBERT
Jeremy, have you seen that ladder ahead
JEREMY
Yes of course I have
ALBERT
And were you just going to walk under it?
JEREMY
Yes why not?
ALBERT
Well don't you know its terribly bad luck to walk under a ladder?
JEREMY
Oh Is it?
ALBERT
Yes, just as its bad luck to walk on cracks, kill spiders and smash mirrors, and already today you've done all of these things so i dread to think what might happen if you walk under that ladder.
JEREMY
Oh don't worry I'm not superstisious(sp?)
HE CONFIDENTALLY WALKS UNDER THE LADDER AS ALBERT WATCHES IN HORROR.... NOTHING HAPPENS. ALBERT BREATHS A SIGH OF RELIEF AND WALKS UNDER THE LADDER AFTER HIM, SUDDENLY HE GETS HIT ON THE HEAD BY A FALLING PAINTBRUSH. SHORTLY AFTER HE GETS HIT ON THE HEAD BY A FALLING PAINT CAN, THEN BY THE FALLING WORKMAN, THEN THE LADDER THEN THE SIGN THAT WAS BEING PAINTED, THEN A CAR LOSES CONTROL AND CRASHES INTO THE PILE. FINALLY A DOG WALKS OF COCKS ITS LEG AND PISSES ON IT ALL.
JEREMY
Oh, its not your lucky day is it old boy?