The lion the witch and the fundamentalism Page 2

Well the metaphysical gags about CS Lewis, and rather obvious Jesus/Christ annalogies are pretty old.

Maybe I'm just ripping off a better class of gag.

Hey no fair I'm pretty discerning about that.

A fictional actor, Tintin (who was, check out Tintint in Tibet), and a horse (who could talk), ok and Ian Hislop who I accept most likely isn't.

Skippy the paedophile kangaroo is a different subject altogether.

As it is the hardcore Christian imagery in Narnia, always teatered more on the edge of obsessive violence in my view. Way more than anything as wholesome as sexuality.

PETER AND SUSAN HAVE JUST COME THROUGH THE WARDROBE AND HAVE MET UP WITH ASLAN

ASLAN

Ah King Peter, and Queen Susan you've come back to save Narnia. The evil White Witch has returned, and she's got an army of intelligent asparagus at her command.

PETER

Actually Aslan, erm there's something we need to discuss.

SUSAN

We've been to Bible camp the last 3 summers, and this is a bit embarrassing.

PETER

Basically Christ redeemed us from idolatry, e.g. the physical manifestations of Gods.

SUSAN

And well thats what you are. A pre-Christian manifestation of Godhood, manifesting as the Messiah, in the form of a big talking lion.

PETER

That actually makes you rather more evil than the White Witch.

ASLAN

But I'm Aslan, the Lord of all this land of Narnia.

SUSAN

That's another thing, Narnia isn't mentioned in the Bible. It's a bit, you know unGodly.

ASLAN

Look hang on a minute this is bloody silly. You can't believe that a 3000 year old book, contains the Literal word of God.

PETER

I'm afraid we do. Don't run, it'll only make it worse.

PETER PULLS A GUN, ASLAN TURNS TO RUN, PETER GUNS HIM DOWN
FRODO WALKS ON

FRODO

Has any one seen the Wizard Gandalf? I'm on a magical adventure with him.

PETER POINTS A GUN AT HIM

PETER

You wandered into the wrong story short arse.

Stonger ending, and no ring jokes what so ever.

I think the idea is good although, as Sooty points out, the metaphysical comparison is nothing new.

I didn't see any laughs in the script. I think maybe you could play up Aslan's attempts to prove he isn't a physical manifestation. At the minute, Aslan only has two lines of conflict.

The asparagus line seems out of place with the rest of the dialogue. By that, I mean everything else is fairly based in reality, but the aspragus line is a lone surreal one. Unless there is some asparagus in Narnia. It's been ages since I read them.

I prefer the Mr Tumnus ending, but that final line is very clunky. Make it slicker and it's better.

And Griff is right, there are a lot of Narnia sketches about at the minute. I'd like to think I posted the first one on BSG, but I can't confirm that!

The Tumnus ending was my favourite part of the sketch, though you could have stopped at "those cloven hooves are a dead give away".

The body of the sketch I have more of problem with. The explanation of Aslan being an idol is a little clunky, and, being pedantic, the worship of idols is proscribed under Mosaic law, rather than being specifically Christian. And I am not sure that Narnia not being in the Bible makes it ungodly. Belgium is not in the Bible. Hmmm, then again...

Well was more a meta joke, and almost conciousley gag free (except for the asparagus). It's hard to think of way of shortening the middle ideas down much. I think the only laugh comes in when Aslan says this is ridiculous.

n.b. hard core fundamentalist Christians draw most of their inspiration from the 626 commandments, and use the new testament for garnish. And hardcore fundamentalists have had a hard time with any fictional figure, outside the Bible.

Hmm maybe make it even more low key, take out the asparagus, and the shooting.

It's more a comment on the crass literalism, and imaginativeness of hard core fundamentalsi,.

Quote: sootyj @ June 19 2008, 6:40 AM BST

It's more a comment on the crass literalism, and imaginativeness of hard core fundamentalsi,.

View original

Is that what people find funny though?

I do. But I don't think you've ever found my writings to be funny. Where as I find you to be a generally talented writer, maybe we differ on that?

n.b. Ned Flanders, Moral Orel, Life of Brian all covered these themes. I'm not saying I'm as funny, just looking at the same stuff.

I wasn't looking for laughs with this, some times a rye smile is good enough.

Quote: sootyj @ June 19 2008, 10:20 AM BST

I do. But I don't think you've ever found my writings to be funny. Where as I find you to be a generally talented writer, maybe we differ on that?

n.b. Ned Flanders, Moral Orel, Life of Brian all covered these themes. I'm not saying I'm as funny, just looking at the same stuff.

I wasn't looking for laughs with this, some times a rye smile is good enough.

View original

Well it did give me a wry smile, so that was job done.

I hope you don't find my critiques to be offensive. I do try to be constructive!

Not seen as offensive, just with critique I do like to know if it's more of a global difference of opinion.

You can please all of the people some of the time, and all that..

I think the basic idea is good and the kids gunning down Aslan is funny; just needs a bit of tidying up in my opinion.

...

eh?

He edited it too. Probably to get rid of a full stop.

Pete seems to have edited his original post, if you didn't see it sootyj never mind, it wasn't complimentary, not abusive though either

Did ask some good questions of your style though, I was looking forward to your response!

Oh shame I like fair critique bring it back Pete, I promise to be nice.

Or could you PM if you prefer?