The lion the witch and the fundamentalism

PETER AND SUSAN HAVE JUST COME THROUGH THE WARDROBE AND HAVE MET UP WITH ASLAN

ASLAN

Ah King Peter, and Queen Susan you've come back to save Narnia. The evil White Witch has returned, and she's got an army of intelligent asparagus at her command.

PETER

Actually Aslan, erm there's something we need to discuss.

SUSAN

We've been to Bible camp the last 3 summers, and this is a bit embarrassing.

PETER

Basically Christ redeemed us from idolatry, e.g. the physical manifestations of Gods.

SUSAN

And well thats what you are. A pre-Christian manifestation of Godhood, manifesting as the Messiah, in the form of a big talking lion.

PETER

That actually makes you rather more evil than the White Witch.

ASLAN

But I'm Aslan, the Lord of all this land of Narnia.

SUSAN

That's another thing, Narnia isn't mentioned in the Bible. It's a bit, you know unGodly.

ASLAN

Look hang on a minute this is bloody silly. You can't believe that a 3000 year old book, contains the Literal word of God.

PETER

I'm afraid we do. Don't run, it'll only make it worse.

PETER PULLS A GUN, ASLAN TURNS TO RUN, PETER GUNS HIM DOWN
MR TAMMNUS RUNS ON.

TAMMNUS

Peter, Susan thank goodness you're here. Oh my God some one's shot Aslan.

PETER AND SUSAN BOTH POINT GUNS AT TAMMNUS

SUSAN

Mr Tamus we were hoping to meet you. Those cloven hooves were a dead give away, Lucifer.

I liked this. When you move away from topical, you're still as inventive and clever. I think CS Lewis would have viewed his work differently but admittedly that spoils the joke.

Wasn't it Tumness?

Yes I'll reedit Tamus is a month in the Hebrew calendar, but did ya like it?

Very Good sketch. Enjoyed mucho.

Quote: sootyj @ June 18 2008, 5:53 PM BST

Yes I'll reedit Tamus is a month in the Hebrew calendar, but did ya like it?

View original

Oh yes, it's very amusing. God, i'm going all Ian Hislop.

What short bald, and in the closet?

Quote: sootyj @ June 18 2008, 7:07 PM BST

What short bald, and in the closet?

View original

?????? He isn't gay, is he? You'll be saying Poul Merton is next...

I said he was in the closet, look at those frustrated glances he gives Paul.

He wants him, Not so private brown eye I reckon.

>_< .....
Erm. Now I can never watch Have I Got News For You in the same way.

So Ian isn't gay? I'm so confuzzzzzled....

It gives me an excuse for not feeling bad about not being TV.

Is it cos I is striaght?

Anyway Walker Texas Ranger is hetrosexual.

Oh, so we can think of one person.

Quote: sootyj @ June 18 2008, 7:09 PM BST

look at those frustrated glances he gives Paul.

He wants him, Not so private brown eye I reckon.

View original

And Graham Norton, he's trying way to hard.

Alan Titmarsh as well, but I think there's a big secret kink in his soul.

Infact Griff the 3 you mentioned seemed more than reasonable to me.
Mr Edd, did you watch the show? He was lucky McCarthy didn't have him on the stand.

A horse is a horse of course, unless he's a communist
I am Mr Redd
Stallliiiinnn!

Did you like the actual skit though?

Am planning to edit it, but I think it works quite well now.

Ok. *shuffles nervously away*
Or in fact, the misconstrued shuffle.