EXT. JUST INSIDE THE PEARLY GATES OF HEAVEN, LOTS OF CLOUDS, ANGELS ETC.
ALAN
Hello, welcome to Heaven.
DAVE
Thank you.
ALAN
How did you get here? Car?
DAVE
No, I was hit by a Bus.
ALAN
Ooh very cliched. I hope you were wearing clean underpants?
DAVE
I was actually, but it turned out to be fairly pointless.
ALAN
Why's that? Because you can't take your earthly possessions with you, no matter how clean they are?
DAVE
No. It's because when you see a Bus coming towards you at 40mph you tend to soil them anyway.
ALAN
Ewww!
DAVE
How about you? How did you die?
ALAN
Chuck Norris caught me in bed with his wife.
DAVE
Blimey! I bet that was painful.
ALAN
And the rest! Still, it makes for an interesting story.
DAVE
Wait a minute! If you committed adultery then how come you're here?
ALAN
Ah, a lot of people ask that question. Moses made a bit of a Cock up with the Ten Commandments. Apparently we were allowed five free passes each.
DAVE
No way!
ALAN
Yep, Moses is not very popular around here I can tell you!
DAVE
The bastard!
ALAN
I committed adultery four times, worshiped a false idol and I'm still in!
DAVE
Which false idol did you worship?
ALAN
My neighbours wife's bottom. So that was a two for one deal really.
DAVE
I've lived a good Christian life, I don't regret that. But I do feel slightly cheated now.
ALAN
That's perfectly normal, come on. I'll show you where Moses lives.
END.
