British Comedy Guide

The Darwin Awards

The Darwin Awards are a humourous prize given to people who improve the human gene pool by removing themselves from it in very stupid ways, normally by killing themselves.

For example, the story of The Enema Within, about the man who died of alcohol poisoning after having two 1.5 litre bottles of sherry inserted anally, or Wrong Time, Wrong Place, the story of the armed robber who decided to rob a gun shop, full of customers, including an armed policeman.

I recently submitted a story of consideration. It is currently in the "Slush Pile", where nominees are voted on to determine which will be given an award. Here is my submission. If you have time to vote on it, please do.

Phoning is the End of the Line

Tetsuo, a 59-year-old company executive from Nagaokakyo, Kyoto Prefecture, was at the Takatsuki Train Station in Osaka late one night, when he noticed that something was amiss. He discovered that he had lost his mobile phone.

He looked everywhere he could, and then he noticed where he dropped it - on the railway lines. Tetsuo decided it was best for him to jump down on the line and get his phone back.

However, Tetsuo appeared to be unaware that the a rapid service train from Himeji to Maibara was on its way. The driver saw him searching the tracks and applied the emergency brakes according to the local police, but the train still collided into Tetsuo.

He was rushed to hospital but died of his injuries soon after he arrived. Tetsuo's mobile phone was later found on the line.

Submitted on 06/09/2008

Reference: http://mdn.mainichi.jp/national/news/20080609p2a00m0na019000c.html - Mainichi Daily News, 06/09/2008

I love the Darwin Awards! I'm surprised noone's already mentioned them!

Quote: Scatterbrained Floozy @ June 10 2008, 11:23 AM BST

I love the Darwin Awards! I'm surprised noone's already mentioned them!

I know. One of my favourite stories is "Midnight Special", the story of the man whose telephone rang in the middle of the night, and instead of picking up the phone, picked up a nearby gun and shot himself in the head.

Oh wow, that's a good one!

There was one about a guy who worked for a gas company, checking gas leaks, and he lit a match to find a light switch, or something.

Just awwwwesome.

[quote name="Ian Wolf" post="178970" date="June 10 2008, 9:06 AM BST"]

Tetsuo, a 59-year-old company executive from Nagaokakyo, Kyoto Prefecture, was at the Takatsuki Train Station in Osaka late one night, when he noticed that something was amiss. He discovered that he had lost his mobile phone.

He looked everywhere he could, and then he noticed where he dropped it - on the railway lines. Tetsuo decided it was best for him to jump down on the line and get his phone back.

However, Tetsuo appeared to be unaware that the a rapid service train from Himeji to Maibara was on its way. The driver saw him searching the tracks and applied the emergency brakes according to the local police, but the train still collided into Tetsuo.

He was rushed to hospital but died of his injuries soon after he arrived. Tetsuo's mobile phone was later found on the line.

Submitted on 06/09/2008

Reference: http://mdn.mainichi.jp/national/news/20080609p2a00m0na019000c.html - Mainichi Daily News, 06/09/2008

Well when you put it like that. What if he was on the phone to Jeremy Irons and he HAD TO TAKE THAT CALL!!

I voted!

I forgot all about this site. :D

http://www.darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin2006-10.html
"Death by misadventure." Love that one.

Quote: Rachel @ June 10 2008, 1:33 PM BST

I voted!

I forgot all about this site. :D

http://www.darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin2006-10.html
"Death by misadventure." Love that one.

Thanks very much for the vote. Pleased

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