Kids in Church

Went to my oldest pal's son's christening yesterday.

Lovely setting of the chapel in the grounds of a Northampton mental hospital. My pal works there and told me we would have to watch the kids at all times as patients could be roaming about.

I remember years ago going to stay at his student residence when he was training there and then this very smiley yet shouting individual just turned up in his room. My mate had to escort him back to his ward.

Anyway, the christening...

My 5 year old lad got bored very quickly and as the vicar was talking he started opening and closing his hands emu-style and going 'blah-blah-blah' and 'I'm so bored'. Embarrassing but highly amusing in hindsight.

Outside afterwards he said he wanted a wee and was about pee up against the church until I whisked him away. The shame...

About 9 years ago we were invited to Jo's ex-boyfriend's wedding. Strange but true. At the very moment the vicar said: 'If anyone here knows of any reason why this couple should not be joined...shall forever hold their peace' my daughter Hannah, then about 6 months old, let out an almighty fart! There were many a stifled giggle in the pews.

Quote: Tuumble @ June 9 2008, 11:14 AM BST

About 9 years ago we were invited to Jo's ex-boyfriend's wedding. Strange but true. At the very moment the vicar said: 'If anyone here knows of any reason why this couple should not be joined...shall forever hold their peace' my daughter Hannah, then about 6 months old, let out an almighty fart! There were many a stifled giggle in the pews.

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Comedy gold.

Quote: Tuumble @ June 9 2008, 11:14 AM BST

About 9 years ago we were invited to Jo's ex-boyfriend's wedding. Strange but true. At the very moment the vicar said: 'If anyone here knows of any reason why this couple should not be joined...shall forever hold their peace' my daughter Hannah, then about 6 months old, let out an almighty fart! There were many a stifled giggle in the pews.

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Great timing!

I always get the giggles in church. I can't help it.

To make singing hyms more interesting I always make up my own lyrics.

We were in church for a Christmas concert when I was about 10 because I was in the school choir, and my parents invited our very religious next door neighbours. The vicar had chosen a passage for the verger to read out, but the verger had a very strong "w", so when it came to the nativity story she began and got to "Unfortunately, there was no woom at the inn." My very religious next door neighbours weren't so sensible anymore, and you could hear them and my parents laughing *very* loudly for about 20 minutes...

Quote: Jason Kindred @ June 9 2008, 12:36 PM BST

Churches make me feel quite horny. I can understand why so many vicars get into trouble.

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Not a statement you often hear. Mind you, there was a member of my mate's in-laws family that had much the same effect. Far too sexy to be in church.

I was in Church for a christening a couple of years ago and I was sitting with a friend of a friend. About halfway through the ceremony he turned to me, rolled his eyes and said, quite loudly, "Jesus Christ this is boring!"

This didn't get the best reaction from the people in front of us.

Quote: Scatterbrained Floozy @ June 9 2008, 12:34 PM BST

We were in church for a Christmas concert when I was about 10 because I was in the school choir, and my parents invited our very religious next door neighbours. The vicar had chosen a passage for the verger to read out, but the verger had a very strong "w", so when it came to the nativity story she began and got to "Unfortunately, there was no woom at the inn." My very religious next door neighbours weren't so sensible anymore, and you could hear them and my parents laughing *very* loudly for about 20 minutes...

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Could you also hear the furtive embarrassment of your parents' teen daughter?

Quote: EllieJP @ June 9 2008, 12:31 PM BST

I always get the giggles in church. I can't help it.

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I often get giggles during minute silences at big events (like football matches). The thing about the giggleloop in Coupling is so true - when you think that the worse thing you could possibly do at this moment is laugh - you begin to laugh uncontrollably. I've had a few embarrassing moments because of this.

Quote: NickTheDon @ June 9 2008, 1:07 PM BST

I often get giggles during minute silences at big events (like football matches). The thing about the giggleloop in Coupling is so true - when you think that the worse thing you could possibly do at this moment is laugh - you begin to laugh uncontrollably. I've had a few embarrassing moments because of this.

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Awww the Giggleloop is so true. You just can't explain it though without pint glasses!

Quote: EllieJP @ June 9 2008, 1:16 PM BST

Awww the Giggleloop is so true. You just can't explain it though without pint glasses!

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That's not a loop, it's a stack.
I couldn't go calling it a gigglestack though, could I?

Quote: EllieJP @ June 9 2008, 12:31 PM BST

I always get the giggles in church. I can't help it.

To make singing hyms more interesting I always make up my own lyrics.

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But that's breaking the rules!

Go to a TMAoList church. The hyms make you feel horny, and in fact it's encouraged.

And the pews are less for sitting on, more for kneeling on.

Ha! And there's less serman and a bit more...

Anyway.

Giggles are the worst thing in the world bar none. At a concert once there was a mayor who was delivering a speech. He had a stutter. Now I reckon standing up there took a hell of a lot of guts. So it probably doesn't help when some idiot has a complete fit of the giggles. And yes I was laughing at him and yes I am ashamed and no I couldn't stop myself. In fact the more I tried the worse I got. To this day I'm mortified about it. But I guess if you're a giggler thats that really.

Edit: And apologies to anyone who has or knows anyone with a stutter. I do self-flagulate if that's any compensation.