The worst job interview you've had

I have been to an interview & if there is one thing I deteste its this question.

What would you say are the pro's and con's to your personality?

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! How do they know people dont fib. Also how can they ask you to name your bad points. I mean I dont have any. You have to give some though or your fooked.

Anyway Whats the worst interview you have ever had.

Mine was a few years back. I had a terrible cold and my nose was running like a bastard. I felt awful. Anyhoo I sneezed and didnt close my fingers over my mouth properly & this big string of nasty flew out and landed on my CV which was in the interviewers hand. Worst was to come though. I excused myself to use their loo. I was in such a state that i didnt pull my trousers down far enough and widdled in them.

It was horrendous. In the end I ran past the interview room straight to my car to make quick my escape. Only to realise that my keys were still on the desk in the room that the interviewer was now gaping at me through the window of.

It was one of the most embarrasing times of my life. I had to skull back in there & retrieve them.

Needles to say I did not get the job.

And thanks to CCTV we can see that moment replayed.

www.cctv.com/charleysonthejob

Mine was applying for job in a theme park...will remain nameless not to shame me... the bloke said "We are like disney land here we like to think all our staff are sprinkled with fairy dust and are happy and joyful they are in work, you look unhappy are you stressed because of interview?" I replied I'm 19 years old what have I got to be stressed about and my face is always like this." cheeky bastard was hinting to the fact I may not appear Jolly what a nerve! Didnt get the job suprise

Reminds me of a Mitch Hedburg line:

'Where do you see yourself in 5 years time?'

'Celebrating the fifth anniversary of you asking me this question'

Ha ha ha. Charlie, was that real? That wouldn't be out of place in a sitcom.

It reminds me of a friend of mine who over the years has become known as "Sitcom". Every time you bump into him his stories start with something like "So I was on this roof and the ladder had fallen away..." or "So I locked myself in the back of this van..."

when i was 18, i applied for an egg collecting job at the local farm. Oooarrrghhh. A few days later the chief egg collector phoned me up and, to my astonishment, rather than ask me when I could start, asked me why i thought i'd make a good egg collector. I presumed, chief egg collectors being known for their wry wit, that he was having a yolk, so informed him that I'd done plenty of shit jobs before. This was greeted by silence, then a sincere and almost angry 'what, you think this is a shit job?'

So I didn't get the egg collecting job, and my brother to this day, still calls me Eggs.

Just think Nick, if you had a bit more common sense YOU could have been Chief Egg Collector by now.

Hmmm?

Think about it.

The question I hate is why do you want to work here? Is it not a bit obvious, money and the fact my current job's shit.

I've had panel interviews with umpteen people in it, I had an interview with 2 people, one who sat in front of me, and the other sat on a chair behine me. This it might have been a spacial awareness test!.

I also had one where they gave me a 10 page senario outline and 1 hour to set up a 15 minute presentation. I blew that one in a big way.

Maybe I should go for an egg collecting job. The interviews sound less stressful.

Probably a good job i was not considered suitable as I've never known whether a chicken pops its egg out of its bum or whether they have front bums. As eggs are usually covered in hen poo, i presume its the former, but surely no animal gives bith from its bum ?! Can someone enligten me?

My dad never told me about the hens and the bees.

deleted as i was being thick (again)

I saw it Andy... I chose not to respond. I think you owe me.

Quote: Ginger Jesus @ May 3, 2007, 9:39 AM

Just think Nick, if you had a bit more common sense YOU could have been Chief Egg Collector by now.

Hmmm?

Think about it.

View original

A bit of hard work and in fifteen years he could have been laying the eggs

I got the old 'why do you want to work here?' but in a different way. Wit me me was "Why should we employ you?" to which I answered "Because I am a God!" No job. Another good one was "Do you have any criminal convictions to which I answered in a grim voice "They've not found the bodies so at present, no". Again. no job.

I don't really need to work that much, so sometimes I go to interviews just for comic effect. One guy went into great lengths telling me abour expenses and pensions and company cars "Any I haven't mentioned?" he asked. "Yes. You didn't mention the fastest mammal in Africa" That time I was escorted from the building.

I'm only 18 but I've applied for 3 jobs and been offered them all (oh yes!) granted they were partners, home bargains and Tesco but its not like I'm going for a job collecting eggs.

My Tesco interview was surreal mostly because he had practically said I could have the job at the beginning of the interview (he knows my mum) to which he continued to ask the normal questions. What will you bring to the job? "err... humour?" he chuckled and handed me a P60.

After this day I haven’t made him laugh once… he’s gay maybe I can use that!

Yes Mr Ginger that was real. I tell you it was awful. LOL.

Quote: charley rance @ May 2, 2007, 2:56 PM

Needles to say I did not get the job.

View original

what was the job charley and is the boss regretting saying "your hired"?