Ok. In at the deep end... please be honest,I would appreciate the feedback.
**Throughout the film the camera is always in POV and THE MAN's speech is indistinguishable and comes across as mumbles which have the speech tone of the words.**
EXT. SHOP.
The shop has a bus stop outside. The shop itself is a small newsagent's/grocer's typical of the type found on streets slightly off of a main thoroughfare. The glass windows are covered with posters advertising special offers etc. and a sign on the door declaring it open.
THE MAN goes into the shop.
INT. SHOP
The shop is cramped and consists of 2 long aisles packed with groceries and a large chilled drinks cabinet.
THE MAN looks around and sees the sweet section. He scans all the shelves deciding
THE MAN
Hmm. What shall I have? Decisions, decisions.
He chooses one bar of chocolate
THE MAN
That one, I think!
He picks up another, and then another and a fourth.
THE MAN
And that, and that and that and that.
He fumbles to carry them up to the counter humming quietly an indistinct tune. On the way he pauses at the drinks cabinet, picks up a can of juice.
THE MAN
Tut, tut.
He puts the can back up and replaces it with a diet version. He then walks up to the counter grabbing a packet of crisps on the way.
The shop counter has newspapers on it as well as a scratchcard dispenser, and a sign saying "play the lottery here!"
The SHOPKEEPER is standing reading a paper and hardly looks up when THE MAN arrives. THE MAN lets the goods tumble onto the counter. The SHOPKEEPER picks them up one at a time and rings them up on the till. He looks bored throughout.
SHOPKEEPER
£3.40, mate.
THE MAN
Oh, right.
THE MAN reaches into his pocket and produces a weary looking £10 note as well as a scrunched up lottery ticket. He hands the £10 over and receives his change.
SHOPKEEPER
Do you want a bag?
THE MAN
Yes, please.
The SHOPKEEPER pulls out a painfully thin looking carrier bag. THE MAN reaches out to take it and the SHOPKEEPER snatches it away.
SHOPKEEPER
40p
THE MAN
40p??!!
SHOPKEEPER
(beginning to put bag back under counter)
Well, if you don't want it...
THE MAN looks at the goods that he has collected.
THE MAN
(resigned)
Oh, alright then.
He hands over the money and the lottery ticket.
THE MAN
Could you check that?
SHOPKEEPER
Check the ticket? Ok.
THE MAN loads up the bag with his goods and notices that there is a hole in one corner
THE MAN
What the?
He looks up at the SHOPKEEPER for assistance. The SHOPKEEPER is busy checking his ticket on the machine. THE MAN sighs and starts loading the goods into the other corner. A loud siren noise comes from the machine. THE MAN looks up and sees a huge flashing light on top of the machine spinning in time to the siren. The SHOPKEEPER turns around stonefaced.
SHOPKEEPER
Sorry mate. No luck.
THE MAN
(non-plussed and pointing at the machine)
But what about about the machine??!
SHOPKEEPER
What? The machine?
(a beat)
It's faulty.
THE SHOPKEEPER gives the machine a slap. It starts to make a loud and insistent noise over the top of the siren, proclaiming "A WINNER! A WINNER!" THE SHOPKEEPER slaps it again. It carries on. He reaches down to the floor, picks up an extension cord, looks at THE MAN and pulls the plug out. The noise stops abruptly.
SHOPKEEPER
Bloody thing.
THE MAN
(hesitant)
So it's not a winner then?
SHOPKEEPER
Not a winner, no.
THE MAN
And you're sure?
SHOPKEEPER
I'm sure, yes.
THE MAN
Oh.
THE MAN turns around and starts to head slowly towards the door. He doesn't go far before swinging around quickly and we briefly see the SHOPKEEPER pulling his fist down in a silent "YOU BEAUTY!!" Gesture but he returns almost immediately to his stone face. THE MAN walks back to the counter.
SHOPKEEPER
Anything else, sir?
THE MAN
Erm.. Could I have my ticket back, please?
SHOPKEEPER
(he looks around uneasily)
Your ticket?
THE MAN
Yes.
SHOPKEEPER
Back?
THE MAN
Yes
SHOPKEEPER
It's..erm..in the bucket, mate.
THE MAN
Could you get it out?
SHOPKEEPER
Get it out? Can't mate.
THE MAN
Why?
SHOPKEEPER
Health and safety.
THE MAN
Health and Safety?
SHOPKEEPER
Yes. Anything else?
THE MAN
No.
SHOPKEEPER
Goodbye then.
THE MAN
(hesitantly)
Ok then..... Goodbye.
THE MAN walks slowly down the aisle and then spins around quickly. The SHOPKEEPER is looking bored and reading a magazine. He looks up casually and waves goodbye. Again THE MAN walks towards the door slowly.
WOMAN'S VOICE (O.S.)
(in a barely restrained whisper)
You're joking!
SHOPKEEPER (O.S.)
(whispering)
I know. I know! I couldn't believe...
THE MAN spins around fast. The SHOPKEEPER is in the same position as before. THE MAN turns towards the door again. Immediately we hear the sound of a party blower. THE MAN spins around again. The SHOPKEEPER has hardly moved.
Resigned, THE MAN walks out of the door.
EXT. SHOP
He waits for a second. Immediately, there are the sounds of cheers as if there is a celebratory party going on inside with music, drinks etc. He peers through the window and seems to see the SHOPKEEPER at the head of a conga line with his hands in the air.
THE MAN turns back towards the door but his path is blocked by a woman with a baby buggy. He rushes around her to the door and swings it open.
INT. SHOP
THE MAN
Aha!
The shop is as before. Quiet. the SHOPKEEPER is reading his magazine and biting absently on a fingernail.
SHOPKEEPER
Forget something?
THE MAN scans the room from the door. Nothing.
THE MAN
Erm....no. Nothing.
The SHOPKEEPER shrugs and returns to his magazine. THE MAN heads out of the door and as he closes it.. A WOMAN'S voice giggles and ...
MAN'S VOICE (O.S.)
Ssshhhh!
EXT. SHOP
Immediately, the door shuts behind THE MAN and the sign flips to display CLOSED. The sounds of the party come again, even louder than before. THE MAN tries banging on the door but this results in his carrier bag falling to the ground and his can rolling away towards the road. THE MAN chases after it. It rolls slowly and ends up in the gutter.
WOMAN'S VOICE (O.S.)
Look out!
His pov is now low after chasing the can, he looks up towards the voice and sees her pointing towards the road. He swings his view around, sees a bus speeding towards him and quickly filling his vision.
blackout
THE MAN
Oh f**k!
The sound of bus hitting THE MAN.
