Chat Rooms

INT. A bedroom - NIGHT

There is a teenage girl sat at a desk using a laptop. We are watching the screen on her computer. She is in a chat room.

Sallygirl65
I love you soo much bigcock876

Bigcock876
I love you aswell

SALLYGIRL65
I'm getting undressed

Bigcock876
Very nice Mind if I join you?

SALLYGIRL65
I would love it if you gave me a hand

Bigcock876
I slide my hand down your pants

He hear the voice of a man shouting.

Dad
Sally, come here for a second please

SALLYGIRL65
I'll be a second hot stuff

The girl walks out of her room and down stairs.

INT. The kitchen - night

The dad is stood near the kettle. There is a laptop on the counter. Sally walks into the room and up to her dad.

DAD
Here's your brew.

SALLY
Thanks dad

As Sally is leaving the room, she glances at the laptop, and pauses.

SALLY
Dad, why does this say bigcock876?

DAD
What? Oh, I'm just talking to a friend

SALLY
You sick bastard

DAD
What?

SALLY
It's been you all along! What the f**k!

DAD
What? I'm not bigcock876, he's just a, errr, friend

SALLY
Well the only two names in this conversation here are bigcock876 and littlemisssparkle

Dad just looks at the floor and scratches his head.

SALLY
What the frig? Well, at least you aren't bigcock876 I guess

Mum walks into the kitchen.

MUM
What's going on?

DAD
Nothing, just a father-daughter chat

Mum looks at the laptop

MUM
Hey, how are you talking to me on....Oh. Shit.

Bit long, good idea, weirdly enough actually happened in the real world.

I think it reads longer than it actually would be but point taken, I think I can see where I could cut down a little.

Quote: sootyj @ May 27 2008, 6:24 PM BST

Bit long, good idea, weirdly enough actually happened in the real world.

View original

I remember it. A Spanish guy, I think it was, arranged a blind date with his mum who was still married to his dad. Ouch.

I can't find a link for it right now but I saw a YouTube video recently where this exact same joke is done minus the dialogue and with a brother and sister. They're both called to the dinner table and he recognises her from the T-Shirt she was wearing on her webcam.

Sorry bud, no-one likes to hear it but better you know.

Not sure why the Dad would call his daughter down for a brew in the middle of a web wank.

Quote: David Bussell @ May 27 2008, 11:56 PM BST

I can't find a link for it right now but I saw a YouTube video recently where this exact same joke is done minus the dialogue and with a brother and sister. They're both called to the dinner table and he recognises her from the T-Shirt she was wearing on her webcam.

Sorry bud, no-one likes to hear it but better you know.

View original

Ah well, if it actually happened I'm not too surprised. It has sketch fodder written all over it.

Good idea, but a little bit confused in it's logic.

He has TWO simultaneous chats going, but you do not make that clear enuff, methinx. You could make it that he presses a key to hide the conversation with SallyGirl65, but this exposes the other conversation instead.

Also you have written the first scene as spoken dialogue, which it is not. You need On the screen we see:
and Sally types:

For me the dialogue between the daughter and the father is unrealistic. If she suspected that her father was the person she was accidentally having an erotic conversation with it would be more realistic if she said little and ran off to find her mother. Then she could see all the info on her mother's laptop that makes it clear what has been going on?

Thanks for the input there billwill. I'll try and see what I can do to sort out the logic without bloating it.

Basically what I intended to be going on is:

Sally is getting off with bigcock876

dad = littlemissssparkle and is talking to bigcock876

sally assumes dad is bigcock876 but he is infact littlemisssparkle and is pretending to be female

mum is bigcock876 and is pretending to be male and has been having it off with her
daughter and her husband without knowing.

I see what you mean about the logic when I put it like that.

That's how I understood the logic too - see above

Sorry I must have missed your post. That's not a half bad idea.

Glad I could help a fellow insomniac

Right, here's what I have now.

INT. A bedroom - NIGHT

There is a teenage girl sat at a desk using a laptop. We are watching the screen on her computer. She is in a chat room. She types "Sallygirl65: I love you soo much bigcock876" and the reply is "Bigcock876: I love you aswell". She types "SALLYGIRL65: I'm getting undressed " and the reply is "Bigcock876: Very nice Mind if I join you?". She types "SALLYGIRL65: I would love it if you gave me a hand " and the reply is "Bigcock876: I slide my hand down your pants"

We hear the voice of a man shouting.

Dad
Sally, come here for a second please

She types "SALLYGIRL65: I'll be a second hot stuff "

The girl walks out of her room and down stairs.

INT. The kitchen - night

The dad is stood near the kettle. There is a laptop on the counter. Sally walks into the room and up to her dad.

DAD
Here's your brew.

SALLY
Thanks dad

As Sally is leaving the room, she glances at the laptop, and pauses. We see the screen. There is a conversation between bigcock876 and littlemisssparkle.

SALLY
Dad, why does this say bigcock876?

DAD
What? Oh, I'm just talking to a friend

SALLY
You sick bastard

Sally runs out of the room, upstairs and into her mum's room.

SALLY
Mum! Mum!

MUM
I'm in the bathroom, I'll be out in a second

SALLY
You need to hear this! (looking at a laptop on the side, her voice gradually gets quieter) dad has been...

We see the screen on the laptop. There are two windows open. One of them is a conversation between bigcock876 and littlemisssparkle, and the other is between bigcock876 and Sally65. A message comes through in the bigcock876-littlemisssparkle conversation from littlemisssparkle saying "One min, my daughter is upset" Sally puts a hand over her mouth and tears begin to roll down her cheeks. Mum walks out of the bathroom.

DAD
(Shouting from down the stairs)
Sally, are you alright?

MUM
Everything ok love?

I think there's so much exposition going on near the end that the whole thing becomes too confusing.

And I still don't think the Dad would call his daughter down for a brew in the middle of his web wank, irrepsective of who he is having his cyber conversation with.

There's a decent sketch in here but I think it needs more work.