A bit of fun, news stories that are most likely never to be heard.
TMcD : And on the News tonight -
Israel has given up all claims to the Holy lands and has welcomed participation in a power sharing government with Palestine.
Elsewhere, Paul McCartney has decided to stop making albums after realising he just isn't any good at it.
USA swallows its pride and asks the third wold for cultural guidance
The British Sitcom Guide Forum was in a panic today because Aaron had taken a day off. Mass confusion broke out with many of the members making badly advised and grammatically incorrect errors in their posts. A spokesman for the board told me that she had always liked me and could I come round to protect her from the bogey man while her flat mate was out. She shall remain as an anonymous saucesource, oops sorry Ellie... damn!
And where were you when I needed protecting hey? Hey?
[off camera]Hiding in your cupboard pretending to read the news .. bong!
You were in the cupboard WITH my flat mate?? Dear god!
Quote: EllieJP @ May 27 2008, 12:49 PM BSTYou were in the cupboard WITH my flat mate?? Dear god!
Your flatmate must be a very tiny person - I remember treading on something but never paid much attention to it. Perhaps that's why he didn't come home?! 
Maybe - I had better check my cupboard when I get home... wait a minute... why were you in my cupboard??
Quote: EllieJP @ May 27 2008, 1:13 PM BSTMaybe - I had better check my cupboard when I get home... wait a minute... why were you in my cupboard??
I know you want me to say that I was peaking at you in bed but I am a professional newsreader and we would never do that kind of thing 
Nice stockings btw .. 
I'd like to say I'm shocked and disgusted at the thought of someone perving on me... I'm not. I like it.
I'd like to say that I am shocked that you like someone doing a peaky/pervy on you - but, even after 2 weeks, I am not surprised in the least
In the News at 10 - Ellie admits she's actually a Virgin.
That's the funniest one yet 
I'm only 26 - I just pretend I am 50 
Quote: EllieJP @ May 27 2008, 1:24 PM BSTIn the News at 10 - Ellie admits she's actually a Virgin.
Would that be the definition of the word virgin in the very very very very very broadest sense. But as you capitalised it perhaps just a Virgin customer? And Alan. Did you say improbable or impossible News at Ten stories? It suddenly feels like Christmas.
Quote: roscoff @ May 27 2008, 1:39 PM BSTWould that be the definition of the word virgin in the very very very very very broadest sense. But as you capitalised it perhaps just a Virgin customer?
Oi hubby! You're meant to stick up for me... and I was the capitilising it to give Aaron something to do as he's poorly and it might make him feel better!