Madeline Peach

This started off as a radio thing but I think it had more scope as TV script thing. It's centred around how some people decieve themselves and those who should really give them a wake up call selfishly don't. But it's also sympathetic to peoples' dreams as I believe laughing at peoples ambitions is not a healthy thing

I've kind of re-writeen a lot of this taking on board what people said and I think it works well in the current form, certainly better than it did previously. I've shortened lines and put in some cutaways.

Let me know what you think.

The script is now at the bottom of this page.

Hi Ed

I read this but have to say it wasn't too easy. Strictly from a presentation pov.

I know you may have imported this from another format but the submission box here misses out formatting and spacing issues and tends to squash things all together. I'm Only saying as some readers will not persevere and your work here will get passed over. But we're not really a picky lot. Honest.

That said I quite enjoyed it though. There were some nice lines and good scenes. In particular I enjoyed the reveal that the guy in the bed was a gas fitter.

It also had a slightly Father Ted feel here and there with the cut away to the CD on the tip etc.

It won't be to everyone's taste as it's not a gag a second but I like pacing and feel so it suited me. It has more a comedy drama feel in my opinion.

On the minus side - I think you could trim some of the writing as it feels a tad overwritten in places. Probably just because it’s a first draft? Also the Peter character seems to just drop in from outer space.

Hi Ed,

I read in your profile that you've had success writing for radio so I was a bit surprised that you singled spaced. Sorry, but those damn lines are just too close for comfort. And then the headaches start. And then the voices - GOD how I hate the voices!! Anyway, if you can double space then it'll make reading your work feel a lot less like work.

Hrumph

I'll try and put this right today / overnight. Haven't managed to do it today as for some reason I can't get into the forums from home.

Thanks. It is something I did in about an hour and a half so, yes, it does need trimming. the bit with Peter was an idea which didn't work out which I thought I had edited out.

Apologies.

Looks quite an interesting character. Without landing yourself inany legal trouble what "kind of" person was this based on?

It's kind of a mixture. There is a person who I know who is AWFUL. I mean, really bad. But in her mind she is the greatest singer ever. She gets gigs because of her self-belief, though she rarely plays the same place twice. She also gives out CDs of her work, which provide much mirth and has clips on her website, where there is, for no apparent reason, a picture of her riding a large plastic pig.

I admire that sort of 'I will become what I want to be' motive, even though the odds are stacked worse than the Scottish National candidate standing in Carmarthen.

I like it Ed. I have a friend like the one you described above. Only difference is its with men. In her mind she is the greatest lay ever, but she only gets the men because of her self belief and she rarely plays with the same guy twice.She also gives out STD's at work. I think she rode a real pig once, but that is soooooo illegal we must not discuss it further.

What - gave out STD's like bonuses? I take it she really is a "friend".

Sorry, that should have read CDs.

I have no idea how I made that mistake, but it goes someway to explain why I was thrown out of Menzies.

Quote: charley rance @ April 28, 2007, 2:31 AM

I like it Ed. I have a friend like the one you described above. Only difference is its with men. In her mind she is the greatest lay ever, but she only gets the men because of her self belief and she rarely plays with the same guy twice.She also gives out STD's at work. I think she rode a real pig once, but that is soooooo illegal we must not discuss it further.

View original

Yes. I wouldn't call her a friend, exactly. I'm careful who I call friends. Choosy. She's someone I know. She also cannot stop eating. She has a license to grill. She's a nice enough person but you get the feeling that between the ears there's a room to rent.

Actually, while I'm here, you wouldn't happen to have her phone number would you? I'm kinda going through a lean spell. ROFL

ACT ONE
EXT./ESTAB. ARDEN ENTERTAINMENT AGENCY

INT. ARDEN ENTERTAINMENT AGENCY - SAME

Garry is on the phone. He is young but world weary. He is listening intently to the person on the other end.

GARRY
I appreciate that, but, you know, it’s sort of short notice to pull out.
He listens to the person on the other end. Nigel and Liza sit across the way from him, watching intently, egging him on. Nigel is pulling faces. Liza is undoing her blouse, slowly. Garry turns his back on them.

GARRY (CONT’D)
Trav, this is the third time I have got you a gig and you have let me down. (BEAT) It’s not an excuse, Trav. (BEAT) No it’s not. She’s not ill. (BEAT) I am not calling you a liar. She’s not ill. (BEAT) Because I was at her funeral, that’s how. Hello? Hello?
Garry turns back and slams down the phone.

LIZA
Let me guess. Trav has let you down.

GARRY
Said his Mother was ill.

NIGEL
Trav’s Mother?

GARRY
Yeah. Lying little sod.

NIGEL
She is ill. She’s virtually crippled with some bone disease.
Garry looks at him

GARRY
We buried her. I was there. We buried her.

LIZA
Step Mum.

Garry stares at the phone.

GARRY
Oh my god...I feel awful. (SUDDENLY RECOVERING) Okay, better now. So, who can I get to replace him.

He looks in his roladex. from his pov we see the cards have large crossings out and some are rather angrilly obliterated. One even has holes in it, where someone has jabbed it with a biro.

NIGEL
Madeline?

Garry looks at Nigel

NIGEL (CONT’D)
(shrugging)
We haven’t given her anything for ages.

GARRY
Yeah, there is a reason why sometimes people in entertainment don’t get work.

LIZA
She’s awful.

GARRY
Oh, awful doesn’t even begin to cover it.

NIGL
Mate, the gig is tonight. We have no one else.

Garry looks unhappy.

CUT TO:
INT - ARMY BRIEFING ROOM

A stern looking chief is addressing the men of the SAS. The camera pans around to focus on him as he speaks

CHIEF
In our time we have stormed embassies and taken on terrorists on their home ground. We’ve rescud hostages and come under fire in some of the msot hostile environments on Earth. Now we must face another peril. Tonight, men, we are going to see Madeline Peache in concert.

There is the sound of flurrying. a wider shot. The SAS men have left, chairs have been knocked over, the door wavers with the speed of exit.

CHIEF (CONT’D)
...we pushed them too far. It had to happen.
CUT TO:

INT - ARDEN ENTERTAINMENT ROOM.

Garry looks rather unhappy. He picks up the phone.

GARRY
Our only hope is that complete thermal nuclear war will break out exterminating all life on this planet before I finish dialling this
We hear ringing on the other end. Garry waves his fist at the ceiling.

GARRY (CONT’D)
You heartless bastard. (BRIGHTER) Hi, Madeline?

DISSOLVE TO:

INT - PEACHE HOUSEHOLD - LATER
Madeline is rummaging in her wardrobe. She takes out clothes which are entirely inappropriate to her age. she rummages through the fitted wardrobe as she speaks

MADELINE
...it all depends on what the venue wants...

She turns around holding a school uniform against herself. It’s hideously inappropriate.

MADELINE (CONT’D)
Britney?

We see the face of a man on the bed

MAN
...maybe...

Madeline puts the uniform on the chair, she rummages a little more

MADELINE
What about
She turns around with a ‘Showgirl’ type outfit. Again, this beggars belief that she would actually wear this

MADELINE (CONT’D)
Kylie?

The man makes a nodding gesture. Madeline puts the clothes on the chair on top of the others.

MAN
Ms Peach?

MADELINE
Yes?

MAN
Is there actually anything wrong with your gas boiler at all?
For the first time we see he is a repair man. Strike that. A frightened repair man.

MADELINE
It’s not going to go anywhere, and I would really value your opinion as a man.
The man looks even more worried.

MAN
It’s just...I have other people to see, you know...
Madeline turns around with a diving suit

MADELINE
I could put sequins on here. I’d be Ertha Kitt.
The man whimpers.

DISSOLVE TO:
EXT./ESTAB. BAR
INT. BAR CONTINUOUS

Garry is talking to the manager of the bar, Mr Cressing.

MR CRESSING
I’m not sure, you know. I was promised Trav.
GARRY
Trust me, you won’t regret this. What am I offering you is different from every other act we have. A real unique talent.

Cressing looks at the picture.

From his POV we see it. It’s awful. Madeline is in her Britney Spears costume. Her pose does not help the fact the shirt is straining. She is trying to look provocative, but all she looks like is a pantomime dame.

MR CRESSING
This is a bloke, right?

GARRY
Yeah.

MR CRESSING
...got any tapes? I mean, I like ot know what I am hiring.

GARRY
I may have a recording somewhere.
CUT TO:

EXT. LANDFILL
We see a CD in amongst the rubbish
CUT TO:

INT BAR - AS BEFORE

GARRY
May take a little time to find it.

Mr Cressing gives him back the picture.

MR CRESSING
Okay. I’ll take him. I’m not happy. But I suppose it is kind of short notice. As long as he is convincing as a woman.

Garry makes a half hearted ‘sure she is’ gesture. As soon as Cressings’ back is turned he pulls a face.

GARRY
You won’t regret this.
Garry takes out his phone.

GARRY (CONT’D)
I’ll confirm it with the artiste.

Cressing goes off to attend to the optics behind the bar. Garry exits.
DISSOLVE TO:

INT. ARDEN MANAGEMENT - LATER

Madeline is sitting in the chair. Garry is looking at her file. We see from his POV he also has plane tickets and a passport. He makes sure they are still there.
CUT TO:

EXT - DESERT ISLAND
We see Garry sitting in a deckchair, reading the paper. The headline ‘Society Breaks Down After Singers’ Act’. Garrys’ picture is in the story with the word ‘wanted’ underneath. He folds the paper and puts on a false moustache. He slouches in his chair. Someone out of sight shouts ‘There he is!’. Garry gets up and runs off.
CUT TO:

INT - ARDEN ENTERTAINMENT
Garry snaps out of it.

GARRY
So what sort of thing are you intending to do tonight?

MADELINE
Bit of Kylie. Bit of Whitney. Bit of Britney.

Garry can’t hide his revulsion.

GARRY
Madeline...can I hear you sing? Just to make sure you’re, you know, up to scratch.

MADELINE
Whoops, I did it again. I played with your-

GERRY
Enough! That’ll do. Excellent.

Garry picks up his passport and puts it into his inner pocket. He taps his pocket reassuringly.

MADELINE
You going away?

GERRY
Yes.

MADELINE
Anywhere nice?

GARRY
I can’t tell you that. Sorry. Private.

MADELINE
I am so looking forward to this. I’ve had some CDs made.

She takes out a bag and takes out several CDs.

MADELINE (CONT’D)
You never know who’ll be there.

GARRY
Nope. Could be a big agent.

MADELINE
Yep.

GARRY
Could be Stephen King looking for ideas for his next book.

Madeline looks at him

MADELINE
Wow. Imagine that. Me the heroine of a Stephen King book.

GARRY
...erm, yes...
CUT TO:

INT. - CAFE
We see one of those corny road side cafes. Behind the counter two waitresses and the handsome hero and hiding. Covered in blood and sweat. The hero and the other waitress listen as the second waitress makes an announcement

WAITRESS
I think I saw her with the notation manuscript for ‘Bright Eyes’.

The three of them look at each other, they all produce guns and point them at their heads. We see the outside of the cafe. We hear three shots.

CUT TO: